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Politics : Bill Clinton Scandal - SANITY CHECK -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: sea_biscuit who wrote (15645)	11/23/1998 5:06:00 PM
From: Les H	Respond to of 67261

'Baked-Bean Bomber' Strikes at Veggie-Fest 98' BOSTON - This year's Veggie-Fest, an event designed to celebrate vegetables and convince Americans that 'Thanksgiving is Murder on Turkeys' had to be evacuated due to an attack by someone calling himself the 'Baked-Bean Bomber'. The 'bombers' attack came shortly after 1:00 p.m.. At first some Veggie-Fest vendors complained of a 'fart-like' smell. Said one salad technician, "I thought my partner floated an air-biscuit. But then the smell grew stronger. I was certain that a sewer line had ruptured somewhere in the building. The strange thing was that there was a faint smell of bacon." As the smell grew stronger Veggie-Fest participants began to gag. Some people threw-up, others complained of a burning sensation in their eyes. Said one victim, "It was awful! I have never smelt anything as bad as that in my whole life." Veggie-Fest coordinator, Mark Lovetree acted quickly and ordered Veggie-Fest participants to quickly leave the building. After the evacuation the Haz-Mat team entered the building and found the source of the offending odor. Said one member of the team, "Apparently someone has discovered a way to capture and compress human flatulence. We have all heard of 'lightning in a bottle'. The best way to describe this, is that it is 'thunder in a can'." Apparently someone hid a #10 can containing compressed farts and a highly sophisticated 'detonation device' in the building. On the front of the can were written the words, "Montana Baked-Beans". On the back were words taken from the movie Monty Python's The Holy Grail, "I fart in your general direction". The can was signed, "With Love - The Baked-Bean Bomber." The FBI has begun a formal investigation in the hopes of catching this sick and twisted individual.