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Technology Stocks : Netscape -- Giant Killer or Flash in the Pan? -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Arnopp who wrote (4725)	11/24/1998 7:55:00 AM
From: jbe	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 4903

And here is another -- and very original -- take: c3f.com Monday, November 23, 1998 Death Buys Suicide Personal entropic delivery system, Suicide, confirmed Monday that it's in talks to be acquired by Death, the leading purveyor of organic entropy in the United States, in a stock swap worth about $4 billion. Suicide, in a news release, said that no transaction has been completed. But it said the negotiations center around a deal in which each Suicide share would be exchanged for 0.45 share of Death. At Death's Friday closing price of 84 7/8 a share, that would put Suicide's value at $38.19. Suicide stock closed Friday at 39 3/16. The price has more than doubled in the past month. According to press reports, the deal would be a complex triangular transaction that also involves Murder (SUNW), which seeks to license Suicide's heavy-duty business tools to large corporations in the hope that killing themselves will be indistinguishable from killing each other, resulting in a win-win-win situation for both Being and Nothingness. Under the proposed purchase, Death, an industry behemoth with 5.8 billion subscribers world-wide and growing, would acquire Suicide's Phenobarbital-and-Vodka fulfillment tool, its electronic-commerce recruitment inducer, and its "Abject Despair" Internet "portal" site, one of the 10 most-visited sites on the Internet. Suicide tools allow users to permanently deliver themselves from whatever with just the click of a mouse, or by typing a keyword or a group of keywords. By essentially stitching together the diverse realms of death fulfillment, from suicide to murder to disease, the deal gels perfectly with Death's goals of becoming a full-package Entropy provider able to compete effectively with archrival Yahoo! Rumors that Death will purchase Birth are, however, according to a spokesman for Death, "overly premature. Though it would greatly simplify things."