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To: CoffeePot who wrote (28080)	11/25/1998 12:31:00 PM
From: hooters_akimbo	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 164684

Really important stuff follows: hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving! I hope all you financial whiz-kids like a little humor. >> WOMEN'S ENGLISH >> *********************** >> Yes = No >> No = Yes >> Maybe = No >> I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry. >> We need = I want >> It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious >> by now. >> Do what you want = You'll pay for this later. >> We need to talk = I need to complain >> Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to. >> I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! >> You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. >> You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think >> about? >> Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. >> This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. >> I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and >> wallpaper..... >> Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! >> I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. >> Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something >> expensive. >> How much do you love me? = I did something today you're >> really not going to like. >> I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a >> good game on TV. >> Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful. >> You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me. >> Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.] >> Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk >> him until he goes to sleep. >> I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is >> important. >> >> MEN'S ENGLISH: >> ******************** >> I'm hungry. = I'm hungry. >> I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy. >> I'm tired. = I'm tired. >> Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have >> sex with you. >> Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex >> with you. >> Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex >> with you. >> May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with >> you. >> Nice dress! = Nice cleavage! >> You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I want to >> fondle you. >> What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big >> deal out of this. >> What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted >> psychological trauma are you going through now? >> What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question. >> I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex? >> I love you. = Let's have sex now. >> I love you, too. = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now! >> Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = I liked it better before. >> Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = $50 and it doesn't look >> that much different! >> Let's talk. = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am >> a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with >> me. >> Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have >> sex with other guys. >> {when shopping}"I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' >> dress and let's go home! >> I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together. = I am >> gay. >