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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: coug who wrote (14607)11/28/1998 11:55:00 AM
From: Rambi  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 71178
 
Hi Coug,
Rambi never answers questions. But I ALWAYs do, and frankly, I really liked your question. And I liked that you said "whomever", and although I'm more of a Chardonnay than a Merlot drinker, we seem to feel the same about wine AND I'm an aging hippie. Ort maybe I'm an aged hippie. AND also your list of important stuff matches mine.
But-
People have different ideas of what constitutes life support. I send books to nieces and nephews for Christmas that are probably opened with groans and tossed aside with the underwear and socks. Some people would think wine is evil and health-endangering. Some people find travel scary and disruptive. Some are sustained by things we find silly and superfluous.

I take it you're looking at the calendar and thinking, Oh shit. Is it that time already? I loved Christmas when the kids were little and everything was magic, but now I HATE it. I hate have-tos and things that are done for appearance. I guess the best we can do is give our own idea of necessary to others, and try to appreciate theirs when it's shared with us.

How is everyone here feeling about the upcoming season?




To: coug who wrote (14607)11/28/1998 12:34:00 PM
From: Ilaine  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 71178
 
Hi coug, did the prescient and puissant penni put her pretty finger on the point of your problem?

Why, indeed, shop for gifts except things that will be loved? Are your loved ones so plebian that nothing can make their hearts take flight? Not so, not so. But you must learn to understand their hearts.

Many people gave my former partner books, because he seemed so erudite. He thanked them kindly, put the book in a box, and never looked at it again. I stalked his heart, and learned that it loved azaleas, then gifted him with tubs of azalea plants, which he at least planted, and tried to keep alive, but that is another story.

My father loves to hunt ducks. I gifted him with hand-made serving platters, molded in a duck shape and painted duck colors. It made his heart happy.

The feeling of despair you feel when you walk through a shopping mall is your conscience, telling you that you have not properly stalked your subject's heart . . . a daunting task, to be sure, if you must gift anyone and everyone. May I suggest getting catalogues from art museums, there are beautiful objects from all over the world, even for the most hopelessly plebian, scarves, ties, with William Morris prints, reproduction knick-knacks that will flatter the receiver that you believe in his/her elevated taste. Startle. Amuse. Intrigue.

Don't try to give down to the receiver's level. Give at your own.

CobaltBlue



To: coug who wrote (14607)11/28/1998 3:18:00 PM
From: epicure  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 71178
 
I think a lot of people DO spend money on books and music and such- instead of buying "As Seen On TV" items that will just gather dust in the closet- although I secretly think the electrostatic duster might be quite a handy gizmo, and I did buy the National Audobon Society songbird Clock but I REALLY needed a clock, so I don't feel too bad about that. I know there are people who overdo at Christmas but I doubt there are a lot of them on this thread.

But when it comes to children... different story. IMO there are a very few years when you CAN actually buy your progeny happiness and those years should be exploited. I think it is important to share that happiness as well- and so we buy for Toys for Tots as well. Because part of the magic of Christmas for children is having your wishes fulfilled and part of the magic of Christmas for adults is to be able to do the fulfilling.

Just my opinion. The adults in our household do not exchange gifts.