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Pastimes : James Cramer Skeptic Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Michael Elizabeth Chastain who wrote (984)	11/30/1998 11:59:00 PM
From: Thomas G. Busillo	Respond to of 1254

Michael, re: if you don't like the news, make your own news! MAN CLEANS COFFEE TABLE, FINDS INCREASED SURFACE AREA PLEASING Philadelphia, Nov 30 - Late Monday evening Center City resident Tom Busillo made good on a promise to himself to "clean up this hell-hole of an apartment", spending several minutes clearing off his coffee table. Later, basking in the glow of accomplishment while downing a cube of zuccini bread from an out-of-state restaurant, he felt a momentary sense of spiritual well-being and inner-peace. "It's great. I'm really pleased with the increased surface area. See, I can rest my legs on there now or maybe put what's left of this zuccini bread on there or maybe leave it open for other possibilities," he gushed. "I'm excited by the potential." Discarded in the move were portions of the New York Times and Wall Street Journal dating back several weeks, three orange Gatorade caps, several pounds of unopened mail and a mysterious ball of blackened Scotch tape. "I'm thinking that may have been at one time part of a series of do-it-yourself goatees I was working on, you know, master of disguise sort of thing, but I can't be sure," he said. Also found in the cleaning were several pennies, two black felt tip pens, an uncashed paycheck, several index cards, a broken pair of scissors, and a business card from an old high school friend with the name "Nadine" and a phone number scrawled on the back. All additional material not discarded was shifted to the bottom shelf of the coffee table. He said recent reading of several essays by French existentialist writer/philopsher Jean-Paul Sartre sparked the decision to clean his coffee table. "I'm sitting here thinking 'does existence really precede essence?' 'is my resignation to being untidy by nature really the type of self-deception Sartre railed against' and then I made the decision - I will act!" Although candidly admitting he found some of his newfound table freedom somewhat daunting, he expressed confidence in his ability to managed the space in the future. "Sure, I realize that I and my newly liberated coffee table in some ways are condemned to be free and therefore there definitely is a sense of existentialist dread, but then I think well, who knows, maybe I'm really more of a Neo-Hegelian idealist anyway." Busillo's next mission will be to move the big pile of clothes off the recliner in the living room to an unspecified location in the bedroom. "I may have to read some Bergson for that one. It's a pretty big pile." ------------------------------------------ Obviously I'm a big fan of "The Onion" <g> Good trading, Tom