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Pastimes : Ask God -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: O'Hara who wrote (22827)	11/30/1998 1:35:00 PM
From: mark silvers	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 39621

Shalom, <<BTW, you probably do more of it than you realize. (Express unconditional love)>> Yes and no. If I were to be absoutely honest(which I will atempt to do) I would say that I find it exceptionally easy to express unconditional love towards my kids most of the time.(there are days when I am too upset at life's "events" that I am too wrapped up to unconditionally express anything) Very close, but not quite as easy would be my wife, closely followed by my mother. After that it gets harder, as you get more removed from the "innercircle". The reason I think it gets harder, is fear. Fear of rejection, fear of being misunderstood, fear of pain, etc. When you dont have a prior stated level of love and understanding you run an emotional risk by putting yourself 'outthere" so to speak. I have always found it ironic that people are quick to hug or embrace as a gesture of hello or goodbye. Even people who aren't really close, will oftentimes embrace as a salutation of sorts. However, many of those same people, will hesitate to embrace someone as a real sign of affection. Using myself as an example(its always safer that way:-) ) there have been many times that I can think of that someone I know has said, done, reflected something that I thought was exceptionally, beautiful or moving. many of those times, my first reaction is to hug that person, or acknowledge how they have moved me in some fashion. Many of those times, I have hesitated, or even neglected to acknowledge the bond that I have felt at that moment. Why would I hesitate to show real affection at that moment, when I may have embraced that same person in greeting just moments before? My best guess is fear. One embrace is not eactly empty, but it holds no real possibility of rejection. One is showing and sharing real emotion. It is that hesitancy that I wish to get past. I think if people could get past, it would make many "disputes", or misunderstandings fade away naturally. I think it takes an ability to love onesself as well, to be able to get past that point. being able to relate to the interconnectedness that we all ultimately share, is probably the best way to get past it, IMO. Mark