To: Paul Berliner who wrote (12 ) 11/30/1998 9:17:00 PM From: jbe Respond to of 26
Paul-- Some refinements on your survival plan. 1) Be sure to clear out your bank account and sell off all your stocks and bonds EARLY -- beginning in January, 1999. After all, you will not be the only person to have figured this one out. And as a result, all the banks will have collapsed, and the stock market will have crashed, by December, 1999. Beat the crowd! 2) If you are as absent-minded as I am, you may put all your money in a safe place, and then forget where that safe place was. Or some clever burglar, or crazed looter, may find your stash. So I suggest buying a lot of little metal safeboxes -- say a dozen; putting a little money in each, and burying each box in a different spot in the yard. (Be sure to do this at night, so your greedy neighbors won't see you, and be sure to replace the sod carefully.) Make a map of the safebox locations, and then make lots of xeroxes of that map, one for the pocket of each jacket you own. (Again, this is to guard against absent-mindedness; it would be a pity if you had to dig up the entire lawn later, just to find your boxes.) 3) Be sure to print out hard copies of everything you have in your computer. If you have as much junk in your computer as I do, you will either have to evict your car from the garage in order to store it all, or build a fireproof shed. (Tell your neighbors you are taking up gardening, and buy a whole bunch of new rakes, hoes, lawnmowers, etc., for camouflage.) I do hope you do not live in an apartment, because this will make things more difficult for you. 4) Quit your job now, since your company will probably go under anyway. If you quit early, you may at least get some severance pay out of them. Or ask them to pay you 10 years of pension in advance. 5) Get a bicycle. Most gasoline pumps have embedded chips, so most probably will not be working, whether the stations get deliveries or not. 6) Best of all, sell your house (if you can find a y2k-oblivious buyer), take all your safeboxes, and fly off to the South Sea Islands for the duration. The only thing you will have to worry about there is leprosy. jbe P.S. This IS all a joke, isn't it? ISNT IT??