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Pastimes : The Naked Truth - Big Kahuna a Myth -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: MythMan who wrote (12487)	12/4/1998 6:13:00 PM
From: accountclosed	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 86076

MM and Austrian Twins: Got this joke in email...be sure to read the part in bold >> > Holiday laughs.... >> > > > ----------------- >I think Santa Claus is a woman.... > I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. >Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy,nurturing >social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly >pull it all off! > For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting >gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised >to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left >on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. > Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up >Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in >the bag. > Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, >there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and >strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, >desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack >would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if the male Santa DID >have >reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably >get >lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for >directions. > Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man: > - Men can't pack a bag. > - Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet. > - Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all > those elves. > - Men don't answer their mail. > - Men would refuse to allow their physique to be describe even in jest > as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly." > - Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them. > - Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their > ability to pick up women. > - Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment. > I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men.....Father >Time >shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Cupid flies around >carrying >weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of >these >individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. > >But not Santa. Not a chance