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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Ilaine who wrote (26520)12/6/1998 12:23:00 PM
From: Rambi  Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 108807
 
Good morning, E!

I slept nine hours last night and am a new person,vowing never to drink a whole bottle of wine on my own again. Life is full of little epiphanies; there will be another soon (there she goes, being eternally and nauseatingly optimistic).

When we were moved to our small rural Blue Ridge town, there were not many Catholics (which we were--northern Catholics, the worst kind). I was told by the dominant Southern Baptists that I was going to burn in hell, that I was not really a Christian; then I would go to Catechism and be taught that I was the only one going to heaven, those Protestant infidels had committed mortal sin by leaving the one, true church. The whole thing was confusing and got to be a huge joke. In an attempt to find some way to mesh what was so ingrained with what my heart and my mind found totally irrational and ludicrous, I left the church. I've tried charismatic Christianity, I was a Lutheran for many years, and currently I'm a happily wishy-washy agnostic, who figures that God will eventually take care of it, if He's so inclined-and if He exists. I find X's beliefs coincide with mine. I am happy for people who have faith; I willingly bow my head for blessings and prayer out of respect for others' beliefs, and I only rebel when they refuse to respect me. Emile has no respect for us or our personal struggles, no matter how sincere they are. This angers me. And I was stunned by Bob's statement about homosexuality being self-destructive and wonder on what he bases this.

CW, my 17 year old, rejected the whole religion business years ago. He is a fighter, very verbal, and gets a big kick out of announcing his atheism and letting people have at him. Luckily, he has also learned that there are times it is wiser to be silent, not deceptive, just silent. There are things worth fighting for--but everyone has different issues and different tolerance levels. Del has a lower threshhold than I, but that doesn't make him-or me- wrong.

Having been raised very dogmatically in the Catholic faith, I know how hard it is to leave those beliefs. Even as part of me rejects, that brainwashing kicks in. There is much I loved about the church, but it wasn't the right stuff! And the stuff I hated and rejected is what I see in lots of Emile's and some of Bob's writing. Nothing based on pure love should result in discrimination and exclusion and ignorance. I still -because I'm a musician--frequently am in church and this doesn't feel at all incongruous to me.

Well, I'm sure there are plenty of holes in what I wrote and I won't argue about it. But I wanted to try to say where I was, because Rick and you seem genuinely interested in the subject. I don't feel I've arrived at any conclusions by any means (I bet you can tell). The spiritual journey is an ongoing and fascinating one! I just wish we could carry it out without being attacked and insulted by those who are so sure they have arrived at The Truth.

Pollyanna penni