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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (1032)	12/13/1998 8:14:00 PM
From: Chartgod	Respond to of 2733

angelfire.com

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (1032)	12/13/1998 8:23:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 2733

Teacher: Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America. Little Johnny: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? Class: Little Johnny! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Phillip fancied himself quite a ladies man, so when his cruise ship went down in a storm and he found himself stranded on a desert island with six women, he couldn't believe his good fortune. They quickly agreed that each woman would have one night a week with the only man. Phillip threw himself into the arrangement with gusto, working even on his day off, but as the weeks stretched into months, he found himself looking forward to that day of rest more and more eagerly. One afternoon he was sitting on the beach and wishing for some more men to share his duties when he caught sight of a man waving from a life raft that was bobbing on the waves. Phillip swam out, pulled the raft to shore, and did a little jig of happiness. "You can't believe how happy I am to see you," he cried. The new fellow eyed him up and down and cooed, "You're a sight for sore eyes, too, you gorgeous thing!" "Shit," sighed Phillip, "there go my Sundays." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipated." The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, "Lean over the table." The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the ass with a baseball bat, and then sends him into the bathroom. He comes out a few minutes later and says, "Doc, I feel great. What should I do?" The doctor says, "Stop wiping with cement bags."