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Strategies & Market Trends : Waiting for the big Kahuna -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: epicure who wrote (35501)	12/20/1998 6:09:00 PM
From: Les H	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 94695

Accused Murderer Tells Court that 'He'll Accept a Censure' In a new trend sweeping the American justice system, defendants in cases involving serious crimes are brazenly telling the courts what type of punishment they'll accept before the trial begins. The latest example of this occurred yesterday when a Florida business owner accused of murdering his wife told the judge, "My employees are already sick of this process and want a quick resolution. Therefore, I will gladly accept a strongly worded censure so that I can get back to the important work of running my company." acclaimedmedia.com

To: epicure who wrote (35501)	12/20/1998 6:11:00 PM
From: Les H	Respond to of 94695

China Promises Not to Target Nukes at U.S. In what is being hailed as a major diplomatic breakthrough, the Clinton Administration today announced that China has agreed to not target its nukes at U.S. cities. Said White House spokesman Mike McCurry, "Although I am not at liberty to discuss the details of the deal, I can proudly announce that China has promised to re-target their missiles. The re-aiming will be finished as of noon tomorrow." When asked how we can be sure that the Chinese will keep their promise McCurry said, "Chinese President Zemin gave us his word. He even crossed his heart and gave us a double-pinky swear. It is common knowledge that if you break a double-pinky swear that you instantly fall dead from a black magic hex." When questioned whether or not they were certain Zemin wasn't crossing his fingers behind his back when he double-pinky swore, McCurry assured the American people that, "we anticipated that possibility and triple-jinxed him so that it would cancel out any finger crossing." News of Zemin's double-pinky swear has already reached those in charge of the doomsday clock. They were so overjoyed by Zemin's actions that they set the clock back a half-hour to 40 minutes to midnight. The clock has not been set that far from midnight in over 30 years.