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Pastimes : Ask Dr. SOROS -Psychoanalyst/psychic/psychobabblyst/psycho -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Don Pueblo who wrote (1)12/25/1998 12:41:00 PM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 25
 
Dear Dr. SOROS:

I'm glad you're hear I have a cyberpsycho problem
that's been festering and I didn't know where to turn.
I have a cyberhorse obsession. In person horses do
nothing for me but when I see horses on the computer
I just go nuts. It all started when I met Roger Mcguin's
Chestnut Mare*, from that point on I've never been the same.
I spend my days and night combing the web for more horses.
I just can't get enough of them. I no longer have any interest
in human females. Two legs and small ears just don't do it for
me any more. I no longer have room to store all the diskettes
and zip cartridges I've filled with cyberhorse material. I tell
myself it's just a phase and that I can quit any time I want yet
I have all ready left this browser 3X since I started this post
to look at horses in another browser. I use the horse.ani for
all my cursors even the pointer. I can no longer use horse manure
in the garden because I consider it holy. The rest of symptoms
are much worse and I'm to embarrasses to post them.

Well Dr. SOROS, what should I do?

Always alone never with a herd
Prettiest mare I've ever seen
You'll have to take my word

I'm gonna' catch that horse if I can
And when I do I'll give her my brand

Well I was up on Stony Ridge after this chestnut mare
I'd been chasin' her for weeks
Oh, I'd catch a glimpse of her every once in a while
Takin' her meal, or bathin
A fine lady

This one day I happened to be real close to her
I saw her standin' over there
So I snuck up to her nice and easy
And I got my rope out
And I flung it in the air

I'm gonna' catch that horse if I can
And when I do I'll give her my brand
And we'll be friends for life
She'll be just like a wife
I'm gonna' catch that horse if I can

Well I got her, and I'm pullin' on her, she's pullin' back
like a mule goin' up a ladder
I take this chance and I jump up on her
Damned if I don't land right on top of her
Well she takes off, runnin' up on to that ridge
Higher than I've ever been before
She's runnin' along just fine, till she stops
Something spooked her
It's a sidewinder, all coiled and ready to strike
She doesn't know what to do for a second
But then she jumps off the edge
Me holding on

Above the clouds
Higher than eagles were gliding
Suspended in the sky

Over the moon
Straight for the sun we were riding
My eyes were filled with light

Behind us black walls
Below us a bottomless canyon
Floating with no sound

Gulls far below
Seemed to be suddenly rising
Exploding all around

I'm gonna' catch that horse if I can
And when I do I'll give her my brand
And we'll be friends for life
She'll be just like a wife
I'm gonna' catch that horse if I can

And we were falling down this crevice, about a mile down
I'd say! I look down and I see this red thing below us
It's our reflection in a little pool of water
About six feet wide, and one foot deep
And we're comin' up real fast
Crawling down right through it
We hit and we splashed it dry
That's when I lost my hold and she got away
But I'm gonna' try to get her again some day

I'm gonna' catch that horse if I can
And when I do I'll give her my brand
And we'll be friends for life
She'll be just like a wife
I'm gonna' catch that horse
I'm gonna' catch that horse
I'm gonna' catch that horse if I can
I'm gonna' catch that horse if I can

Here is a recent image of me:
we.got.net



To: Don Pueblo who wrote (1)12/25/1998 1:39:00 PM
From: SOROS  Respond to of 25
 
Dear Mr. Chicken,

First, if your cousin like BBQ psychiatrists, then he probably would also go for some BBQ chicken. Therefore, the first thing I would do is buy a Monica Lewinsky disquise for the next time you see him. This should drive him wild with desire. When he drops his shorts, grab one of the Peenies, and rub it on his peenie. He will immediately bite off his peenie, which will set off a major chortle. The snort will suck the peenie into his throat, and you will see him gasp and chuckle his last chuckle -- no more worry for you, which is bad for your mental health, BTW.

I remain,

SOROS

ps Try some cortisone cream (2% at least) on those nasty bumps under your nipples. If that doesn't work, you may want to rub some Peenies on them, and visit your cousin one time before applying my advice above.

pps Almost forgot -- I see abusive, ugly parents in your past and very ugly women in your future.



To: Don Pueblo who wrote (1)12/25/1998 3:50:00 PM
From: SOROS  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 25
 
Dear TLC,

My master will help you like none other.

SHAO