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Pastimes : Ask Dr. SOROS -Psychoanalyst/psychic/psychobabblyst/psycho -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Don Pueblo who wrote (1)	12/25/1998 12:41:00 PM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 25

Dear Dr. SOROS: I'm glad you're hear I have a cyberpsycho problem that's been festering and I didn't know where to turn. I have a cyberhorse obsession. In person horses do nothing for me but when I see horses on the computer I just go nuts. It all started when I met Roger Mcguin's Chestnut Mare*, from that point on I've never been the same. I spend my days and night combing the web for more horses. I just can't get enough of them. I no longer have any interest in human females. Two legs and small ears just don't do it for me any more. I no longer have room to store all the diskettes and zip cartridges I've filled with cyberhorse material. I tell myself it's just a phase and that I can quit any time I want yet I have all ready left this browser 3X since I started this post to look at horses in another browser. I use the horse.ani for all my cursors even the pointer. I can no longer use horse manure in the garden because I consider it holy. The rest of symptoms are much worse and I'm to embarrasses to post them. Well Dr. SOROS, what should I do? Always alone never with a herd Prettiest mare I've ever seen You'll have to take my word I'm gonna' catch that horse if I can And when I do I'll give her my brand Well I was up on Stony Ridge after this chestnut mare I'd been chasin' her for weeks Oh, I'd catch a glimpse of her every once in a while Takin' her meal, or bathin A fine lady This one day I happened to be real close to her I saw her standin' over there So I snuck up to her nice and easy And I got my rope out And I flung it in the air I'm gonna' catch that horse if I can And when I do I'll give her my brand And we'll be friends for life She'll be just like a wife I'm gonna' catch that horse if I can Well I got her, and I'm pullin' on her, she's pullin' back like a mule goin' up a ladder I take this chance and I jump up on her Damned if I don't land right on top of her Well she takes off, runnin' up on to that ridge Higher than I've ever been before She's runnin' along just fine, till she stops Something spooked her It's a sidewinder, all coiled and ready to strike She doesn't know what to do for a second But then she jumps off the edge Me holding on Above the clouds Higher than eagles were gliding Suspended in the sky Over the moon Straight for the sun we were riding My eyes were filled with light Behind us black walls Below us a bottomless canyon Floating with no sound Gulls far below Seemed to be suddenly rising Exploding all around I'm gonna' catch that horse if I can And when I do I'll give her my brand And we'll be friends for life She'll be just like a wife I'm gonna' catch that horse if I can And we were falling down this crevice, about a mile down I'd say! I look down and I see this red thing below us It's our reflection in a little pool of water About six feet wide, and one foot deep And we're comin' up real fast Crawling down right through it We hit and we splashed it dry That's when I lost my hold and she got away But I'm gonna' try to get her again some day I'm gonna' catch that horse if I can And when I do I'll give her my brand And we'll be friends for life She'll be just like a wife I'm gonna' catch that horse I'm gonna' catch that horse I'm gonna' catch that horse if I can I'm gonna' catch that horse if I can Here is a recent image of me: we.got.net

To: Don Pueblo who wrote (1)	12/25/1998 1:39:00 PM
From: SOROS	Respond to of 25

Dear Mr. Chicken, First, if your cousin like BBQ psychiatrists, then he probably would also go for some BBQ chicken. Therefore, the first thing I would do is buy a Monica Lewinsky disquise for the next time you see him. This should drive him wild with desire. When he drops his shorts, grab one of the Peenies, and rub it on his peenie. He will immediately bite off his peenie, which will set off a major chortle. The snort will suck the peenie into his throat, and you will see him gasp and chuckle his last chuckle -- no more worry for you, which is bad for your mental health, BTW. I remain, SOROS ps Try some cortisone cream (2% at least) on those nasty bumps under your nipples. If that doesn't work, you may want to rub some Peenies on them, and visit your cousin one time before applying my advice above. pps Almost forgot -- I see abusive, ugly parents in your past and very ugly women in your future.