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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Messbauer who wrote (1065)	12/26/1998 2:13:00 AM
From: Gordon Quickstad	Respond to of 2733

Abdul lived many years ago at a major trade crossroads where he made the finest of tents. His reputation increased throughout the region as the town grew and he became known as one of the town's wise elders. One day as he was speaking to a gathering of townspeople, he had a most unfortunate loud passing of wind that even lifted his robe. The children and everyone laughed until they cried. After that, every time they saw Abdul, they couldn't help but giggle some more. His pride devastated, Abdul decided to leave town and move far back into the mountains and live a life of recluse. After many years, his memory of his great embarrassment diminished and he decided to visit his old town. The town had grown very large and all looked so different now. He was unable to find his old abode and he asked a young man what had happened. The man explained that a terrible fire destroyed the center of town in the year 3. Abdul said that he had last seen the town 20 years ago in the year 512 and it was certainly there then! The young man explained that that was about the time they switched over to a new calendar and that this was the year 20 AAF - After Abdul's Fart.

To: John Messbauer who wrote (1065)	12/27/1998 11:23:00 AM
From: Chartgod	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2733

The FBI is now calling Clinton the UniBanger. ************* It is said that Bill Clinton is considering changing the democratic party emblem from a donkey to a condom, because it stands for inflation, protects a bunch of pricks, halts production, and gives a false sense of security while being screwed. ***************** Clinton returns from a vacation in Arkansas and walks down the steps of Air Force One with two pigs under his arms. At the bottom of the steps, he says to the honor guardsman, "These are genuine Arkansas Razor-Back Hogs. I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary." The guardsman replies, "Nice trade, Sir." **************** Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. The umpire walks up to the VIP section and says something. Suddenly Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the wall onto the field. The stunned umpired shouts, "No, Mr. President! I said, 'Throw the first PITCH!'" ******************** Bill Gates is in town (New York) showing all the computer executives how well windows 98 works. But computer executives say that windows 98 goes down so much they are thinking about renaming it to MONICA 98 ********* President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him. "What is it?" yells the President. "It's this abortion bill, Mr. President. What do you want to do about it?" the aide asks. "Just go ahead and pay it." responds the President. ******************** Realization of from another White House intern: "And all that time I thought that humming was the shredder!"