< And of course my imaginative sense is waning more every year. Wish I could hibernate
from the third week in December til the first week in January. Then I wouldn't have to
deal with it at all.
I doubt that in the earlier times when gift exchanges were being made during the
Christmas holiday that the gifts were so outlandish. I suspect they were more along the
lines of things given that the person might have to wait a very long time for, and very
simple things to-boot.
So are you saying you didn't give anything to your daughter, your parents, your
husband's parents, etc., etc., for Christmas?>
Mike, I think you are right about the origin of gift giving during the Winter Solstice, which of course is more ancient than Christmas, but somehow became entwined with it after Jesus lived. From what I have read, people in many cultures gathered at the coldest time of the year to warm themselves and each other. Mistletoe, decorated trees, holly, wreaths, candles, feasting and dancing and singing songs have always been part of that. My understanding is that gifts were simple--food, drink, small handmade items, and were a show of love and friendship.
I am not sure how we got so far away from that, but it is possible to go back simply by giving only simple, handmade or consumable gifts. Since the entire season has become just a chore for you, the first thing I would suggest is to keep a mental list of the people you have to buy for, and get them things during the year, preferably at sales, whenever you see something and have the intuitive sense that it would be a nice gift. We keep a gift cupboard, where we store the gifts we gather during the year, especially when we vacation, go to factory outlet malls, or craft fairs.
I also think the suggestion Edwarda made to really observe and listen to the people on your list makes sense. I would love it if someone bought me a new white rubber dish drainer for my kitchen counter, for example--anyone who comes over could notice that it is old and worn. However, I hate kitchen stores and would not think of making the trip myself until it crumples into small brittle pieces. Surely all the people you know well enough to give gifts have little fraying pieces of their lives like that.
Hasn't everyone had the experience where an elderly relative died, and in sorting through their belongings, you found all the ties, aftershave, cheap nightgowns or whatever you were in the habit of giving that person, never used, stashed on some closet shelf? I think it is a good idea to get out of easy gift-giving habits, and this is another reason where small, luxurious food items, for example, are much more enjoyable than more possessions someone doesn't really need. I would rather have a large can of really expensive mixed nuts with lots of cashews, or some mango tea from Crabtree and Evelyn, than almost anything.
And have you ever thought of buying several of something when you find a gift which is really exciting or a very good value, and giving them to several people on your list? This year I found mulled berry and brandied apple candles at the Body Shop, and bought about eight of them. I gave these as casual presents to people who surprised me, and to people at work as well. They smelled wonderful, came in rounded, colored glass bowls with different colors of glass jewels, and when the candles burned down they could be used as permanent candle holders with new votive candles. I got them in the last couple of weeks before Christmas at $5.00, which was half off. But really, they were tasteful, sensual and luxuriant.
Another suggestion is photographs. Put some aside that you really like, and go to a discount store like Target or Ross with them, and pick out frames that really enhance them. This year I was struck by leaded glass frames at Ross which were double paneled with pressed flowers between them. They were handmade, looked expensive, were stunning with my daughter's latest school picture in them, but only cost $5.99. Everyone who got one was very happy with it, and pictures are a gift of love.
I don't think my ideas will solve ALL your Christmas gift dilemmas, but I am willing to bet that a combination of shopping all year, going to craft fairs, and keeping your eyes and ears open will together cause you to end up with enough of a head start so that the gifts you have to get at the end to suit growing children or others who have very specific wants or needs, will not have you reeling again. And if you spend gradually throughout the year, you will have enough left at Christmas to cover your expenses.
Since you asked, for the record I got my daughter a really beautiful pearl pendant with a gold chain. I got them at the wholesale jewelry mart, and saved a lot of money that way so that I could get a thick and sturdy chain and a large pearl with some tiny diamonds around it. I got my husband a Kenwood sports CD walkman-like device, which is what he had really wanted for his birthday last year. I couldn't afford it then but file the idea away, and surprised him. I looked at all the newspaper ads until I found the very best deal, one-third off.
What I didn't do is get them a whole bunch of presents--just what they really wanted most. We also took an unexpectedly expensive vacation when we went to visit my father in November, and are doing that again this year because we want to go to Ireland. At this point in my life, I much prefer experiences to presents, anyway, and was much more pleased with going out to Christmas dinner at the Irish restaurant and seeing "Dancing at Lughnasa" than I would have been with a bunch of stuff under the tree. And that is why I also think gift certificates, at stores, theaters or wherever, would be very nice presents for most of the people on your list. |
