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Politics : Bill Clinton Scandal - SANITY CHECK -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: max who wrote (24713)	12/28/1998 10:06:00 AM
From: Les H	Respond to of 67261

1999 Predictions Frumious Bandersnatch In 1999 someone will figure out that the National Debt has gotten so huge that no one can even pronounce the number. It will then be paid off with a 3.9% CitiBank Card. The Senate will discover that impeachment is supposed to be used to punish the abuse of power, but no one will be able to impeach the House of Representatives. A majority of the US Supreme Court will discover they have afflictions, such as glaucoma, that could be helped with medicinal marijuana and weed will be legalized. The economies of Columbia and Mexico will crash. Prince Charles will see the movie Elizabeth and decide to renounce the throne and marry Camilla. Queen Elizabeth will have numerous members of the British tabloid press executed during the night. Dave Barry will quit being paid by the word and write a short and funny column. An enormous hurricane will strike Miami Beach causing hundreds of thousands of Cubans to flee to Cuba. Fidel Castro will move to Miami where he'll feel more at home in ruins. Dr. Kevorkian will be found guilty of murder and will be executed by self-administered lethal injection. Someone will start a betting pool on the Web on when Hillary will divorce Bill. The winner will get $100 million. Russia will finally figure out how to have an economy. They will buy Microsoft. Space Station Mir will be abandoned, officially, after Boris Yeltsin is sent to the station for a visit. The US will bomb Iraq again, to no particular effect. Israel and the PLO will sign their 1,000th peace treaty. A few minutes after the signing, war will again resume. Some completely unknown country will be invaded by another formerly unknown country, and the United Nations will spend months debating who should be in charge of US troops requested to stop the invasion. NATO will prove its utter worthlessness by finally approving the use of force against Solobodan Milosevich, after every ethnic minority in the former Yugoslavia is dead. A Yeti will be captured and displayed at the San Diego Zoo. The Yeti will look a lot like Newt Gingrich. Baja Arizona will not become America's 51st state. The Pentagon will announce that "Small Soldiers" are real, and use the mini-robots to attack Luxembourg. Several hundred Indian reservations will apply for statehood. No one will know what to do with the request. After spending hundreds of billions to fix the Y2K problem, it will be discovered the whole thing was a prank. Microsoft will be found guilty of anti-trust violations. But there won't be anyone left to compete against them. HP will announce a hand-held computer so small no one can read what is on the tiny screen. An earthquake will level most of Los Angeles. No one will notice. Not a single female child born in 1999 will be named Monica.