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To: sand wedge who wrote (9373)12/30/1998 4:56:00 AM
From: taxikid  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 11888
 
not watching my portfolio....
that's fer sure...
office set-up done. still hafta get the phone lines fixed..
taxi



To: sand wedge who wrote (9373)1/18/1999 7:24:00 AM
From: BamaReb  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 11888
 
OT

To: +Kirk (8441 )
From: +Rich Dee
Friday, Jan 15 1999 11:15AM ET
Reply # of 8476

Golf Laws

LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to
come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the
supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a
summer and, eventually, a lifetime.

LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately
by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with
the number of people you tell about the former.

LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot
be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf
ball, the greater its attraction to water.

LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one
does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut
down.

LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing
partners must solemnly chant "You looked up," or invoke the wrath of
the universe.

LAW 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems
himself as an instructor.

LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to
humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.

LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.

LAW 9: Palm trees eat golf balls.

LAW 10: Sand is alive. If it isn't, how do you explain the way it works
against you?

LAW 11: Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from
the clubhouse.

LAW 12: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than
anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will
consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted
murderer and an IRS agent -- or some similar combination.

LAW 13: All 3-woods are demon-possessed.

LAW 14: Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one
another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (see Law #3)

LAW 15: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.

LAW 16: "Nice lag" can usually be translated to "lousy putt."
Similarly, "tough break" can usually be translated "way to miss an easy
one, sucker."

LAW 17: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be
the one who beats you.

LAW 18: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your
score to what it really should be.

LAW 19: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.

LAW 20: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the
sunset of the same day.