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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: RumKola who wrote (1109)	1/5/1999 7:31:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Lee, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on I95. Please be careful!" "Hell," said Lee, "it's not just one car... It's hundreds of them!"

To: RumKola who wrote (1109)	1/7/1999 10:04:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

SIGNS YOU ARE A CANADIAN 1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines. 2. You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk" 3. You understand the phrase, "Could you please pass me a serviette,I just spilled my poutine" 4. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars. 5. You drink pop, not soda. 6. You know what it means to be on pogey. 7. You know that a mickey and 2-4's mean "Party at the camp, eh!!" 8. You don't hold your hand on your breast when you sing the national anthem. 9. You can drink legally while still a 'teen. 10. You know that francophones, anglophones and allophones are not electronic devices. 11. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike. 12. You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap place to travel to and has good cigars. 13. When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it. 14. You're not sure if the leader of our nation has EVER had sex and don't want to know if he has! 15. You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs. 16. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway. 17. You drive on a highway, not a freeway. 18. You sit on a couch not a chesterfield - that is some small town in Quebec! 19. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is. 20. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers. 21. You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like soap". 22. You know that Mounties "don't always look like that" 23. You read rather than scanned this list. ---------===========================================--------- __ __ ___ __ / // /_ ____ _ ___ ____ / _ )_______ ___ _/ /__ / _ / // / ' \/ _ \/ __/ / _ / __/ -_) _ '/ '_/ /_//_/\_,_/_/_/_/\___/_/ /____/_/ \__/\_,_/_/\_\