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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: David Miller who wrote (1138)	1/12/1999 10:16:00 PM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2733

Subject: The final word on urban legends > I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home > recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of > Kentucky Fried Chicken. So anyway, one day he went to > sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was > full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got out of > the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and > he saw a note on his mirror that said, "Call 911!" But he > was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to > his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that > would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail > entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because > he himself was a computer programmer who was working on > software to save us from Armageddon when the year 2000 > rolls around. His program will prevent a global disaster > in which all the computers get together and distribute the > $600 Neiman Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of > Bill Gates. (It's true-I read it all last week in a mass > e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me > a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward > the e-mail to everyone I know.) The poor man then tried to > call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, > but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with > an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped in a note > that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was > only a few blocks from the hospital-the one, actually, > where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one > whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him > an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to > pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him > two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of X's and O's in > the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to > twenty people you will have good luck but ten people you > will only have ok luck and if you send it to less than ten > people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS). So anyway > the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but > on the way he noticed another car driving along without > his lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at > him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation. > And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused > the Dark Ages.