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Pastimes : Robert Zimmerman, Bob Dylan, Dylan -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Elmer Flugum who wrote (3)	1/14/1999 7:56:00 PM
From: mr.mark	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2695

You Know You're A Dylan Fan If... Volume 1 - you think Neil Young, Bruce Springsteen and Frank Sinatra are wanna-be's - you're annoyed yet amused by chit-chat in foreign languages - you are more interested in last night's set than you are the headline news - you get annoyed when a taper repeatedly yells "Visions of Johanna!!" in your ear - you bash A.J. Weberman to your friends, but secretly think it'd be pretty interesting to go through Dylan's trash - you know what the posting titled "Bootleg Series???" is going to say, but read it ANYWAY - you don't get tired of "Tangled Up In Blue" - even though you've heard it over 10,000 times - you've purchased spreadsheet software for the express purpose of organizing your collection - you have named your offspring or your pets: Dylan , DeeLynn, Delanna, Handy Dandy, Maggie , Ramona , Corrina, Delia, Hattie, Davey, Sadie, Johanna, Montgomery, FrankieLee, Sara, Babara Allen, St.Annie, Sweet Marie, Angelina, Suze, Ruben Remus, Sarah Jane, or Smoke - you use the phrase "You gotta lot of nerve!" as a retort - you use the phrase "I DON'T BELIEVE YOU - YOU'RE A LIAR!!" as a retort - when you're in an argument with your significant other, you say "Your words are not clear, you'd better spit out your gum" - you think polka-dots are cool and fashionable. - you are mystified by one note harmonica solos - you've ever made up your own words to "Santa Fe" - you firmly believe that Dylan wrote "The Weight" - you've sat through the long version of "Renaldo & Clara" at least twice and wouldn't mind doing it again - you get offended when people sing "The ants are my friends..." - you are STILL searching for secret pages on the HWY61-CDROM - you stand next to your theory on who the Jokerman is - you sing "License to Kill" every time there's a shuttle launch - you've spent an intimate weekend with your tape-to-tape - you go around carrying gigantic lightbulbs - you trust Heylin more than you do your ecclesiastical leader - you think Dylan is a good painter - you've ever flamed someone for calling Dylan a bad painter - you've thought about being an EDLIS agent for your municipality - you're convinced that "Gates of Eden" is a love song - your regular speaking voice has adopted an inflected and undulatory tone - you do not find humor in the idea that you can call someone who simultaneously plays the harmonica & guitar a musician - but by taking it one step further by adding knee-cymbals, then that person's a freak - you are proud of your drumstick shrapnel collection - you have your own in-depth theory on why Jezebel the nun violently knits a bald wig for Jack the Ripper - you relocate, and trust your Dylan stuff to no one, including your spouse - you consider yourself an idiot magnet - your password is a Dylan quote - you buy tickets for a Dylan show before checking out where in the hell it is and then go to the show - you have the tour schedule on your fridge and check it every evening - you schedule your vacation to see Dylan the same week the relatives come to visit - you trade for more than one copy of the same show - you have the LP, cassette, 8-Track, Elcaset and CD versions of his albums and you don't care which one sounds best! - you think that $10k for a copy of the original "Freewheelin'" is fair market value - you'd consider trading for a poor tape of Dylan's Bar Mitzvah - you take it personally when friends comment that Dylan can't sing - your used to people asking you: "Don't all these tapes sound the same?" - when you walk by graffiti and you think: "People drawing conclusions on the wall" - you have tape cassette boxes that only list a city and a date, but no artist - practically anything someone says to you reminds you of the line of a song - every time the weather report comes on you say, "You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows" - you read BoB, BotT, BIABH, JWH, UTRS, and WGW with ease, but don't know what CRC, LASER, LED, TLA, NORAD, and SCUBA stand for - you've listened to "All Along The Watchtower" more times than Dylan has played it - you refer to any and all other music as "non-Dylan" - you divide music into four categories: 1) Dylan; 2) music that influenced Dylan; 3) music influenced by Dylan; and 4) crap. - you have all the versions of "Guitars Kissing & The Contemporary Fix" - you hope that people will ask you what Don McLean's "American Pie" is really all about. - you wake up singing "One more cup of coffee 'fore I go..." five out of seven mornings....