Once again it is time to start thinking about casting your vote for
the 1998 Darwin Award winner! As you may already know, the
Darwin Awards are for those nominees who contribute to the gene pool by dying in spectacularly stupid ways.
The 1998 nominees are:
NOMINEE No.1 [San Jose Mercury News]
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former
girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the
gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
NOMINEE No.2 [Kalamazoo Gazette]
James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo Mich., was killed in March as
he was trying to repair what police described as a "farm-type truck."
Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung
underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns'clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."
NOMINEE No.3 [Hickory Daily Record]
Ken Charles Barker, 47, accidentally shot himself in December in
Newton, N.C., when, awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone
beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith
& Wesson.38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
NOMINEE No.4 [UPI, Toronto]
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a
downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39-years of age, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the building's windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously had conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawyers, managing partner of the firm Golden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.
NOMINEE No.5 [Bloomburg News Service]
A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for the
death of a man who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on
his body but an autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his
system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and a couple of other things). It was just the right combination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't have been fatal. But the man was shut up in his near airtight bedroom. According to the article, "He was a big man with a huge capacity for creating "this deadly gas." Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized.
NOMINEE No.6 [The News of the Weird.]
Michael Anderson Goldwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had
spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a
murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. Whilst sitting on a metal toilet in his cell and attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
NOMINEE NO.7 ["The Indianapolis Star".]
A cigarette lighter may have triggered fatal explosion - Dunkirk,
Indiana. A Jay County man using a cigarette lighter to check the
barrel of a muzzle-loader was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Prior, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home about 11:30 p.m. Investigators said Prior was cleaning a .54-caliber muzzleloader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
NOMINEE No.8 [AP, St. Louis]
Robert Pule, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St. Louis
market. When the clerk threatened to call police, Pule grabbed a hot dog, shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without paying for it. Police found him unconscious in front of the store; paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his throat, where it had choked him to death.
NOMINEE No.9 [Unknown]
To poacher Marino Malaga, who shot a stag standing above him on an
overhanging rock-and was killed instantly when it fell on him.
NOMINEE No.10 [Associated Press, Kincaid, W. VA]
Blasting Cap Explodes in Man's Mouth at Party. A man at a party
popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth and tongue, state police said Wednesday. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during a party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium, hooked to a battery, and was trying to explode it," Payne said.
"It wouldn't go off" and this guy said, "'I'll show you how to set it
off."
NOMINEE No.11 [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario.]
A man cleaning a birdfeeder on the balcony of his condominium
apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheeled chair when the accident occurred, said Inspector D'Arcy Honer of the Peel regional police. "It appears the chair moved and he went over the balcony," Honer said.
NOMINEE No.12 [UPI, Portland, OR]
Doctors at Portland's University Hospital said Wednesday, an Oregon
man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive, and will be released soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye during an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous, in Grants Pass, OR. A friend tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Roberts' right eye. Doctors said had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel would have cut and Roberts would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon Dr. Johnny Delashaw at the University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain, with the tip protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said that if Robert had tried to pull the arrow out he surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted afterwards that he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this."
NOMINEE No.13 [The Calgary Sun, Saturday, December 28, 1996 VANCOUVER (CP)]
A man arguing over a love triangle accidentally shot himself in the
groin, taking off his testicles and part of his penis. Police said
the man was waving a .357 Magnum revolver around during the shouting
match early yesterday. But when he stuffed it back in his pants the gun went off. Police were called to the hospital after a man in his 20s was brought in by friends. Charges are pending against the victim, who is expected to survive.
AND FINALLY, NOMINEE No.14!!! [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]
Two local men were seriously injured when their pick-up truck left
the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early
Monday morning. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center. The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a frog gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pick-up truck headlights Malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded on east-bound toward the White
River bridge. After traveling approximately twenty miles and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply to the right exiting the pavement and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to repair the other wound. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his off or we might both be dead" stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened", said Snyder. Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia, Poole's wife asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck.
|
