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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Emile Vidrine who wrote (28275)	1/16/1999 6:35:00 PM
From: Sidney Reilly	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

Emile, Thanks for the book info. I am going to look for it. I have seen some good documentaries on TV about it but not read any books. A scientist named Fuchs in the Manhattan Project fed a lot of info about making a bomb to the russians including the process of gaseous diffusion and other things that saved the russians billions of dollars. It is doubtful the russians could even have figured it out at all if they were not helped. I found out something recently that is very disturbing. The Federal Reserve is a private company, not a government agency. I knew that already. But they have shares and people own shares of the Fed. Very rich people do anyhow. Well, the lions shares of stock in the Fed is controlled exclusively by jewish business interests. That is hard for me to believe but it's true so I can't ignore it. Bob

To: Emile Vidrine who wrote (28275)	1/17/1999 9:05:00 AM
From: Don Pueblo	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

How about one post with no niggling nonsense. Just one, in your whole life. You can't do it, can you?

To: Emile Vidrine who wrote (28275)	1/17/1999 4:53:00 PM
From: Father Terrence	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

GOD'S TOTAL QUALITY MANAGEMENT QUESTIONNAIRE God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions. Please keep in mind that your responses will remain completely confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions. 1. How did you find out about your Deity? ___ Newspaper ___ Bible ___ Torah ___ Book of Mormon ___ Koran ___ Divine inspiration ___ Dead Sea Scrolls ___ My mama done tol' me ___ Near-death experience ___ Near-life experience ___ National Public Radio ___ Tabloid ___ Burning shrubbery ___ Other (specify): _____________ 2. Which model Deity did you acquire? ___ YHVH ___ Father, Son & Holy Ghost ___ Jehovah ___ Jesus ___ Krishna ___ Zeus and entourage [Olympus Pak] ___ Odin and entourage [Valhalla Pak] ___ Allah ___ Satan ___ Gaia/Mother Earth/Mother Nature ___ God 1.0a (hairy thunderer) ___ God 1.0b (cosmic muffin) ___ None of the above; I was taken in by a false god 3. Did your God come to you undamaged, with all parts in good working order and with no obvious breakage or missing attributes? ___ Yes ___ No If no, please describe the problems you initially encountered here. Please indicate all that apply: ___ Not eternal ___ Finite in space/Does not occupy or inhabit the entire universe ___ Not omniscient ___ Not omnipotent ___ Not infinitely plastic (incapable of being all things to all creations) ___ Permits sex outside of marriage ___ Prohibits sex outside of marriage ___ Makes mistakes (Geraldo Rivera, Jesse Helms) ___ Makes or permits bad things to happen to good people ___ When beseeched, doesn't stay beseeched ___ Requires burnt offerings ___ Requires virgin sacrifices ___ Plays dice with the universe 4. What factors were relevant in your decision to acquire a Deity? Please check all that apply. ___ Indoctrinated by parents ___ Needed a reason to live ___ Indoctrinated by society ___ Needed focus in whom to despise ___ Imaginary friend grew up ___ Wanted to know Jesus in the Biblical sense ___ Graduated from the tooth fairy ___ Hate to think for myself ___ Wanted to meet girls/boys ___ Fear of death ___ Wanted to piss off parents ___ Needed a day away from work ___ Desperate need for certainty ___ Like organ music ___ Need to feel morally superior ___ Thought Jerry Falwell was cool ___ My shrubbery caught fire and told me to do it 5. Have you ever worshipped a Deity before? If so, which false god were you fooled by? Please check all that apply. ___ Mick Jagger ___ Rajanish ___ Baal ___ The almighty dollar ___ Bill Gates ___ Left-wing liberalism ___ The radical right ___ Ra ___ Beelzebub ___ Barney T.B.P.D. [the big purple dinosaur] ___ The Great Spirit ___ The Great Pumpkin ___ The sun ___ Elvis ___ Cindy Crawford ___ The moon ___ TV news ___ Burning shrubbery ___ Other: ________________ 6. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition to God? Please check all that apply. ___ Tarot ___ Lottery ___ Astrology ___ Television ___ Fortune cookies ___ Ann Landers ___ Psychic Friends Network ___ Dianetics ___ Palmistry ___ Playboy and/or Playgirl ___ Self-help books ___ Sex, drugs, rock and roll ___ Biorhythms ___ Alcohol ___ Bill Clinton ___ Tea leaves ___ est ___ CompuServe ___ Mantras ___ Jimmy Swaggart ___ Crystals (not including Crystal Gayle) ___ Human sacrifice ___ Pyramids ___ Wandering in a desert ___ Burning shrubbery ___ Barney T.B.P.D. ___ Barney Fife ___ Other:___________ 7. God employs a limited degree of divine intervention to preserve the balanced level of felt presence and blind faith. Which would you prefer? (Circle one.) a. More divine intervention b. Less divine intervention c. Current level of divine intervention is just right d. Don't know...what's divine intervention? 8. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and miracles. Please rate, on a scale of 1 = unsatisfactory to 5 = excellent, His handling of the following: Disasters: 1 2 3 4 5 flood 1 2 3 4 5 famine 1 2 3 4 5 earthquake 1 2 3 4 5 war 1 2 3 4 5 pestilence 1 2 3 4 5 plague 1 2 3 4 5 spam 1 2 3 4 5 AOL Miracles: 1 2 3 4 5 rescues 1 2 3 4 5 spontaneous remissions 1 2 3 4 5 stars hovering over jerkwater towns 1 2 3 4 5 crying statues 1 2 3 4 5 water changing to wine 1 2 3 4 5 walking on water 1 2 3 4 5 VCRs that set their own clocks 1 2 3 4 5 Saddam Hussein still alive 1 2 3 4 5 getting any sex whatsoever 9. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving the quality of God's services? (Attach an additional sheet if necessary.) I apologize to any who may have already seen this. It's from the joke thread. FT