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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: epicure who wrote (28768)	1/22/1999 12:26:00 PM
From: HG	Respond to of 108807

I think of death as a salvation. Kinda like selling off my YHOO shares when I ust feel too stressed out due to the volatility. Sometimes, I have thought of love as a sustaining factor, it gives me a reason to live. More often, responsibility for loved ones become the reason to live. It may just be that I know how hurtful it would be for them to live without me. I think that provides a more forceful reason to live...at least for me. Pain is something very strange. Whether emotional or physical, most often we only get so much as much as our bodies and soul can endure. Like somehow, the body mechanism regulates its flow. Some people have a higher than average tolerance. And looking back, it never seems a big thing anyway. The events seem kinda compressed. When going thru times of pain, I always find myself comparing my current pain to that of one in the past. And it always amazes me - at how easily I can always find something worse in my past which makes it easier to endure the current wave. That kinda helps prevent the suicidal emotions.... Has someone ever thought seriously about the statement "everything happens for the best". For the last 2 years, I have lived thru a lot. But every incident has returned a joy, an opportunity, something special which I would have missed out big time on, if I had not endured the searing pain preceeding it. It has strengthened my belief in the supernatural, and the course of events. The larval inability (refusal) of four sectioned brains to "see" the future.

To: epicure who wrote (28768)	1/22/1999 12:28:00 PM
From: nihil	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

Dear X, Of course people differ in their beliefs about these things. But there comes a time when continuing to live is a simple act of will. I never feared death when I was young and rashly brave. I never wasted a moment's thought about risk, or loss, but did what I thought was right and joyful. But I grow old and weary. I lack ideals and causes to die for (which I had in plenty when I was young and had much life to lose). It takes more courage than I have to tolerate decay, and inability to look into a mirror, and know that briefly I must die in pain and agony and dementia so great I could not even bite my tongue. I wake every morning with a new bite on my tongue. Were it not for the love of a true woman and my granddaughter who scarcely knows that I exist, I could not bear to stay alive another minute. I recommend everyone find someone they can love and maybe be loved by, or give it up as a bad-love life.