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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Karin who wrote (1208)	1/22/1999 11:24:00 PM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2733

Something that might happen on the 1st working day of the year 2000. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: 4 January 2000 Dear Valued Employee: Re: Vacation Pay Our records indicate that you have not used any vacation time over the past 100 year(s). As I'm sure you are aware, employees are granted 3 weeks of paid leave per year or pay in lieu of time off. One additional week is granted for every 5 years of service. Please either take 9,400 days off work or notify our office and your next pay check will reflect payment of $8,277,432.22 which will include all pay and interest for the past 1,200 months. Sincerely, Automated Payroll Processing

To: Karin who wrote (1208)	1/22/1999 11:27:00 PM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2733

"Visiting a Farm" I was just visiting some friends who have a real working farm. I was watching this one rooster chasing after this hen, when the friend's wife came out to feed them. The rooster stopped chasing the hen at once and ran over to begin eating. I stood there thinking to myself, "Damn! I hope I never get that hungry." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Dead Rooster" A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car. A cloud of feathers is in the air. Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse, rang the door bell. A farmer appeared. The man, somewhat nervously, said, "I think I killed your rooster. Please allow me to replace him." "Suit yourself," the farmer replied, "the hens are 'round the back." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "A Well-Dressed Rooster" A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, "What the hell is that all about?" The farmer says, "We had a fire in the chicken coop in the winter, and all his feathers got burnt off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm." "Yes," says the salesman, "But it's summer now." "Well," replies the farmer, "There ain't nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other."