CFH,
Get a grip...!
Here... read a piece by Maureen Dowd of the New York Times.
If you know of her, you know she ain't a member of the vast right wing conspiracy. Matter of fact, some would say, after reading this piece, that she's finally "gone 'round the bend", so to speak.
jim
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The New York Times
January 24, 1999
LIBERTIES / By MAUREEN DOWD
A Surprise for Hillary
WASHINGTON -- Bill Clinton boogied into his victory rally chewing on a Cohiba and beating on bongo drums.
Busloads of relieved Democrats pulled up to the White House for the bacchanal of vindication. The President decreed it safe to party in the Oval Office once more.
The celebration began the instant the Senate dropped impeachment charges against Mr. Clinton and took up a censure resolution against Henry Hyde and his House managers, condemning them as bozos who dared to waste the upper chamber's valuable time with a persecution based on the bogus premise that low sex is a high crime.
Mr. Clinton strode through the revelers to say a few words.
"Now we know what the definition of 'is' is," he roared with a grin. "I is off the hook. Let me begin by expressing heartfelt thanks to my friends and co-conspirators here -- Geraldo, Whoopi, Barney, Betty, Vernon, Dale, Quintus Robertus Byrdus, Larry Flynt and all you Baldwin brothers.
"I am so grateful that it ended before we had to leak what Terry Lenzer and his private eyes dug up on Bill Rehnquist's funky stripes.
"And I'm so happy I don't have to fake remorse anymore. Now I can concentrate on real remorse -- feeling sorry for myself.
"As you all know, I do have a tendency to get cocky, once I get out of a mess, and make an even bigger mess. But it's going to be hard to top myself, or bottom myself, this time. I'll keep praying with Jesse and all my other ministers that my bad-boy side doesn't get back in through the West Gate.
"I am purging myself of anger. Nelson Mandela told me to turn the other cheek. I'm going to stop replaying that videotape of Diane Sawyer slapping around Ken Starr.
"Starr was obsessed with me. But who isn't? To tell the truth, he wasn't completely off-base. I lied. Hey, that wasn't so hard. I lied! I lied! I lied! "Even spending $50 million, though, he did miss a few things. First, I did inhale. Second, I did evade the draft. I flat out
didn't want to be marching around some courtyard in Fayetteville when I could be up at Yale. And Gennifer Flowers? Yup, lots of times.
"I don't know what it is, but I do drive people squirrelly. Henry Hyde used to be judicious. Now he's just a crank. I've always been lucky in my enemies. Only a group of uptight sourpusses like Hyde, Barr, McCollum and Sensenbrenner could have sent my numbers through the roof. Hey, did y'all notice, during the State of the Union speech, the way I leaned my elbows on the lectern, so I would look warm and open while the Republicans looked cold and distant?
"This is actually a double celebration -- a victory party for me and a kick-off rally for Hillary's Senate campaign. Honey, I didn't have a chance to tell you, what with all the excitement, but you're moving! Harold Ickes found you a great little condo in Battery Park. We took some more money out of your blind trust for the security deposit. There was plenty left after you paid off Paula for me. Lots of couples have commuter marriages. We can make it work. MCI has that 5-cent thing on Sundays.
"My good friend Sidney Blumenthal is working on repealing the 22d Amendment so I can have a third term. I not only want to build that bridge to the 21st century. I want to walk over it. It's the least I deserve, after all the time those Republican meanies have stolen from me. I want my four years back.
"Al, you were right when you said that Americans have the President they deserve! Besides, America is addicted to me. The news media need me to keep people reading and watching. After the cold war, I'm all they've got. The public needs me for its daily soap-opera fix. Wall Street needs me. Who better to preside over a bull market? Lawyers need me so they can moonlight as TV pundits. The Democrats need me to teach them how to win. The Republicans need me to raise money. Right-wing blondes need me to get their own cable shows. Hollywood needs me to take it seriously.
"I've survived everyone -- Gingrich, Livingston, Ovitz. I dominate the culture. I define the debate. It's a perfect match of the man and the moment. I give the people anything they want at a time when they don't need anything.
"So, my fellow Americans, tonight I say to you, you're welcome."
Copyright 1999 The New York Times Company
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