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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ilaine who wrote (17014)	1/26/1999 10:49:00 AM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 71178

I think maybe I didn't make myself clear...or that we're sort of talking about two different things--there is absolutely nothing wrong with becoming the best, or working hard toward a goal at all. But when you sacrifice all other things for that goal, I don't think it's healthy. WHen students pass on a harder course because they're afraid they'll hurt their GPA, or have no extracurricular activities because they're studying all the time, I think they've lost balance and perspective. I would worry as a parent that if one goal overwhelmed their lives, that it also endangers their ability to handle the disappointment if they don't achieve that goal. My college roommate was an incredible person. SHe went on to an MIT PhD, started her own company, taught at Wellesley. She has always been an academic success, but her happiness, I believe, comes from her well-roundedness, her ability to do many things, her interest in people and learning, travel, books, music, sports, her children. Her academic success was the natural product of her overall intelligence and curiosity and energy. SHe never said, this is what I'm going to do no matter what. SHe "fast-tracked" because it was absolutely natural for her to do so. Becoming a Supreme Court Justice, making a million a year, becoming the next Bill Gates, or Michael Jordan... this will happen to only a very few. I want my boys to take joy in the journey, to love what they do enough that it won't matter if they practice law in a small town or in the Supreme Court. I want them to understand that happiness isn't going to come from being the valedictorian, if everything else falls by the wayside to get there, but that if they become valedictorian in the pursuit of their passion, that's wonderful. And if their passion IS being valedictorian or Supreme Court Justice they should pursue it wholeheartedly, but never to the exclusion of all else, and never to where they see it as the only acceptable outcome for their life. When I think about the most successful and happy people I know, they are often the ones who retain interest in many things- not just their one area. My husband was a fast tracker--one of those central casting types you mentioned, although he was careful to maintain balance. He got to that top lawfirm, was a year from partner and realized that it was not really the answer. He had gotten to that goal, and then it ate the rest of his life. You are a person with many interests, talents; you are funny and smart, and perceptive. You have two children you obviously adore. You are still learning and striving, your life has certainly been challenging and fascinating. You've achieved so much-- And so much of VALUE!!! I think you're a whole lot neater than any of those cookie cutter, one dimensional eager beavers.