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To: John Mansfield who wrote (27181)1/28/1999 5:10:00 AM
From: John Hunt  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 116764
 
Russia Sees Transport Problems From Millennium Bug

<< Russia admitted Wednesday it would face serious transport problems as a result of the millennium computer bug, but said an army of specially recruited experts would keep Russians moving across their vast territory. -- cont'd -- >>

dailynews.yahoo.com






To: John Mansfield who wrote (27181)1/30/1999 3:48:00 AM
From: IngotWeTrust  Read Replies (4) | Respond to of 116764
 
OT: Subject: The ant and the grasshopper


The version you learned as a kid:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house, laying up supplies for winter. The grasshopper thinks the
ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come
winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food
or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

Moral: Hard work and thrift pays off.


The modern American version:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper
thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well
fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC and ABC show up to
provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to video of the
ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America
is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country
of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Then a representative of the NAGB (The National Association of
Green Bugs) shows up on Nightline and charges the ant with green bias,
and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million
years of greenism. Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the
grasshopper, and everybody cries when he sings "It's not easy being green."
Bill and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS
Evening News to tell a concerned Dan Rather that they will do
everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the
prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly during the
Reagan summers. Richard Gephardt exclaims in an interview with
Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the
grasshopper and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his
"fair share."

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism
Act, "retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for
failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having
nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated
by the government. Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the
grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is
tried before a panel of federal hearing officers that Bill appointed
from a list of single-parent welfare moms who can only hear cases
on Thursday's between 1:30 and 3 PM.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends: the grasshopper's finishing up the last bits of
the ant's food while the government house he's in, which just
happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him since he
doesn't know how to maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the
snow. And on the TV, which the grasshopper bought by selling most
of the ant's food, they are showing Bill Clinton standing before a
wildly applauding group of bi-partisan Democrats announcing a
new era of "fairness" has dawned in America.

Moral: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~