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To: watfur who wrote (276)1/28/1999 12:25:00 PM
From: WEBNATURAL  Respond to of 365
 
You are good for it! ;o])
Signs That You Are Too Drunk

You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

Job interfering with your drinking.

Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.

The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!

Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!

You can focus better with one eye closed.

The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

You fall off the floor...

Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.

Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you

At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."

Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you
fell asleep clothed. - hmm.

The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...

You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine,
Alcohol, and [Women or Men].

Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and
more attractive.

Roseanne looks good.

Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.

That damned pink elephant followed me home again.

Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you.

I'm as jober as a sudge.

The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.

You wake up screaming "TORO TORO TORO!" in the middle of the night.




To: watfur who wrote (276)1/28/1999 1:05:00 PM
From: WEBNATURAL  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 365
 
Put annudder on yer tab!

Ya Gotta be kiddin!!!

A man once called the 800 reservations number from a pay phone to purchase his $112.00 ticket. He then began inserting quarters into the phone and inquired if the agent was receiving the money.

A woman adamantly refused a window seat on her flight. When I asked why she replied, "Well I'll be getting my hair done that morning, and I don't want to get it all messed up.?

A man called wanting to know if we flew to Maconga. After the agent asked what country this was in, the woman replied that it was in the United States "somewhere in the Midwest".
The agent got out a travel guide and looked alphabetically for the city when she finally stumbled on to it...Macon, Ga.

The air hostesses have found out that in the morning, when they come around to serve tea and coffee, heading towards England, that about 90% of the people want coffee. Therefore, they go along the aisles with pots of coffee and cups, no tea. When a person wants tea, they give them the cup and tell them to press the stewardess call button, and someone will be along with a pot of tea.
After they get towards the end of the plane, that sentence had been Reduced to "If you want tea, press that button." This lead to the man in front of me, desiring tea, putting his cup underneath the overhead, and pressing the call button repeatedly, to the amusement of everyone behind him. He then stood up and loudly proclaimed that the tea machine was broken!