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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Karin who wrote (1289)	2/1/1999 11:52:00 PM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Subject: Marriage 1. The Great Debate: Is It Better to Be Single or Married? --------------------------------------------------------- "I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing ... I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out!" - Theodore, age 8 "It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them!" - Anita, age 9 "Single is better ... for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change any diapers... Of course, if I do get married, I'd figure something out. I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing." - Kirsten, age 10 2. How Can a Stranger Tell if Two People are Married? --------------------------------------------------- "Married people usually look happy to talk to other people." - Eddie, age 6 "You might have to guess based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." - Derrick, age 8 3. What Promises Do a Man and a Woman Make When They Get Married? -------------------------------------------------------------- "A man and a woman promise to go through sickness and illness and diseases together." - Marlon, age 10 4. How to Make a Marriage Work? ------------------------------ "Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck!" - Ricky, age 7 "If you want to last with your man, you should wear a lot of sexy clothes.... Especially underwear that is red and maybe has a few diamonds on it." - Lori, age 8 5. Getting Married for a Second Time ----------------------------------- "Most men are brainless, so you might have to try more than one to find a live one." - Angie L., age 10 6. How Would the World Be Differentd be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?" - Kelvin, age 8

To: Karin who wrote (1289)	2/2/1999 12:12:00 AM
From: Karin	Respond to of 2733

This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one. "Is it a boy or girl gorilla?" the removal service guy asks. "Boy," is the man's response. "Oh yeah, I can do it. I'll be right there." An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick, a dog, a shotgun, and a pair of handcuffs. He then gives the man some instructions. "Now, I'm going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he falls. When he does, the trained dog will bite the gorilla's testicles off. The gorilla will then cross his hands to protect himself and allow you to put the handcuffs on." The man asks, "What do I do with the shotgun?" "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog." Karin