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Politics : Bill Clinton Scandal - SANITY CHECK -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Bill who wrote (31820)2/3/1999 10:33:00 AM
From: Les H  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 67261
 
God Declines White House Request to Dump Two of the Ten Commandments

Word from Heaven is that God has declined a request made by the Clinton Administration to shorten the Ten Commandments. White House Press Secretary, Joe Lockhart, summarized the President's petition in this morning's briefing. Said Lockhart, "The President feels that God needs to stop prying into the private lives of individuals and act in a spirit of bipartisanship and remove the restrictions against adultery and coveting your neighbor's wife. Clinton is of the strong opinion that sex between consenting adults doesn't rise to the level of a 'damnable sin' and he is calling on the Creator to change his policies."

However, the Lord God Almighty thinks differently and issued a formal response to the President's request. It simply said, "No."



To: Bill who wrote (31820)2/3/1999 10:35:00 AM
From: Les H  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 67261
 
Clinton Finds New Use for 'Statistical Sampling'

On the heels of the Supreme Court decision that struck down the White House's plans to use 'Statistical Sampling' in the upcoming 2000 census, President Clinton has announced a new use for the controversial counting technique. The President told a group of supporters last night, "I am sending comprehensive tax reform legislation up to Capital Hill that would call on the IRS to use 'Statistical Sampling' to determine a person's taxable income."

Under the President's tax reform bill, Americans would no longer need to spend hours filling out complicated forms in order to determine their taxable income. Instead, each American would receive a letter from the IRS informing him or her how much they earned and how much they owe. These numbers would be figured for you by the government using 'Statistical Sampling'. To determine these numbers the government will look at such factors as ethnicity, education level and political party affiliation.

The President brags that his tax reform plan will make taxes both "simple and fair."