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To: KENNETH R SANDERS who wrote (72804)	2/3/1999 7:21:00 PM
From: Ibexx	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 186894

Kenneth and thread, The following is from NY Times (2/3/99), reprinted here for the bipartisan spirit of this thread: _______ LIBERTIES / By MAUREEN DOWD The Secret Letter At first, the President wanted to wear one of Monica's ties on Monday as a secret love signal, and have Nicole Seligman read his apology before the House managers began quizzing the former intern. But those ideas were dropped after David Kendall patiently explained to the First Client that they might be construed as witness-tampering. So then the President went to Plan B -- a plan so closely held that even Geraldo's Source Very Close To The President didn't know about it. If Monica was a good little soldier and gave only rank and serial number to the enemy, Ms. Seligman would read a short apology at the end of the deposition. That would be for public consumption. But privately there was an even sweeter inducement for Monica, a bold attempt by Bill Clinton to worm his way back into the former intern's good graces before she does the big interview with Barbara Walters, goes on her book tour or gives any more testimony in the criminal trial of the President that Ken Starr is craving. After the satellite dishes in front of the Mayflower Hotel were dismantled, after the House managers returned to the Capitol and the press behemoth slouched off, the President dispatched his stealth lawyer, Bruce Lindsey, to deliver a top-secret, handwritten letter of apology to the guest in the Presidential suite: Dear Monica, I am so proud of you. You stood by your man today. You are no stalker. You are one classy lady! I wanted to write this letter a long time ago, but my lawyers wouldn't let me. So many apologies, so little time. My heart went out to you when that evil Starr dragged you back here two Saturdays ago. But I must confess I was a little jealous when Asa Hutchinson and Ed Bryant came to see you, dressed as if they were going on a date, all spruced up in their pep-rally sweaters and Oxford shirts. You didn't have pizza together, did you? Life is weird. Things really couldn't have turned out much better. The new New York Times poll shows Americans hate the Senate as much as they hate the House. Darn, I love this country. My approval rating is sitting pretty at 65. I know yours is stuck in the 20's, hon. But look on the bright side -- together, we almost add up to 100! I thought you looked really hot in that TSG baseball cap. It was even sexier than the beret. Then I read that TSG stands for The Shooting Gallery, the film company where your new boyfriend works. I was crushed by that ol' green-eyed monster, babe. I hope you paid no mind to all the trash talk about how if you hadn't saved that dress, Sidney and I would have smeared you as a delusional, Starbucks-fetchin', Domino's-temptin' vixen. We were just foolin'. Sidney is such a barrel of laughs. And I heard you were mad when I told the grand jury that our sex was one-way and that you were just servicing me. My lawyers made me say that, too. You know I never thought of you as a sex toy, sweetie. You were always my Juliet. What light by yonder pantry breaks! You were cute as a wood tick in those Vanity Fair pictures. I keep the one with you and the pink poodle in my desk drawer. Whenever Gore gets too stupefying, I steal a look. Pay no mind to all those shots of me and Hillary holding hands. She is still frosted at me. If you think you've had a hard time, just imagine what it's like to have Hillary, Dianne Feinstein, Donna Shalala and Patricia Ireland yapping at you for 12 months. Oh, for those carefree days when we did not engage in sexual relations while Betty stood guard! Remember when I used to tell you, when you complained that I was pulling away from you, that every day can't be sunshine? But every day can be sunshine, if you control your tongue with Andrew Morton and Barbara Walters. All the poise you've displayed this year proves you were much too good for that cheesy job at Revlon. If Ken Starr indicts me, you'll need to keep those gorgeous lips zipped a little longer. Of course, I'm not asking you to lie. We were never alone, right? We'll always have Whitman, right? By the way, Hillary's going to The Hague this weekend to speak on population control. I'll give you an early Valentine's Day ring. It's been way too long since we engaged in some of that good ol' inappropriate sexual banter. XXXOOO, Handsome ___________ LOLOFWSP Ibexx