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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Karin who wrote (1317)	2/6/1999 10:15:00 PM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Got this from my friend's sister-in-law who lives in New York. It's a nice sentiment, so I thought I'd pass it on. We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, etc. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets their act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire. The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza. He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life". This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have. Treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, and remember that time waits for no one... Stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again...to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy... Happiness is a journey, not a destination. Work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching.

To: Karin who wrote (1317)	2/7/1999 12:57:00 AM
From: Mad2	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

The Irish Salesman A keen Irish country lad applied for a salesman's job at a big Dublin city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in all Ireland, you could get anything there. The boss asked him, “Have you ever been a salesman before?” “Yes, I was a salesman in the country” said the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, “You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up. ”The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, “How many sales did you make today?” “One,” said the young salesman. “Jaysus, only one!” blurted the boss, “Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. Are ye useless or what? How much was the sale worth?” “Three hundred thousand pounds ($450,000),” said the young man. “How did you manage that?” asked the flabbergasted boss. “Well,” said the salesman “this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser.” The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, “You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?” “No,” answered the salesman “He came in to buy a box of Tampons forhis wife and I said to him, "Your weekend's shot, you may as well go fishing.”