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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: DScottD who wrote (17447)2/8/1999 11:17:00 AM
From: Jacques Chitte  Respond to of 71178
 
Well I hope your neighbors are badasses also. Otherwise the little nippers are just gonna lay siege by breeding.



To: DScottD who wrote (17447)2/8/1999 1:42:00 PM
From: Jacques Chitte  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 71178
 
From the "Jokes" thread - an appropriate vignette from the Darwin wawrds. I cannot recommend this fellow's level of dedication.

(#8) In rural Carbon County, PA, a group of men were drinking beer
and discharging firearms from the rear deck of a home owned by Irving
Michaels, age 27. The men were firing at a raccoon that was wandering
by, but the beer apparently impaired their aim and, despite of the
estimated 35 shots the group fired, the animal escaped into a 3 foot
diameter drainage pipe some 100 feet away from Mr. Michaels' deck.
Determined to terminate the animal, Mr. Michaels retrieved a can of
gasoline and poured some down the pipe, intending to smoke the animal
out. After several unsuccessful attempts to ignite the fuel, Michaels
emptied the entire 5 gallon fuel can down the pipe and tried to
ignite it again, to no avail. Not one to admit defeat by wildlife,
the determined Mr. Michaels proceeded to slide feet-first
approximately 15 feet down the sloping pipe to toss the match. The
subsequent rapidly expanding fireball propelled Mr. Michaels back the
way he had come, though at a much higher rate of speed. He exited the
angled pipe "like a Polaris missile leaves a submarine," according to
witness Joseph McFadden, 31. Mr. Michaels was launched directly over
his own home, right over the heads of his astonished friends, onto
his front lawn. In all, he traveled over 200 feet through the air.
"There was a Doppler Effect to his scream as he flew over us,"
McFadden reported, "Followed by a loud thud." Amazingly, he suffered
only minor injuries. "It was actually pretty cool," Michaels said,
"Like when they shoot someone out of a cannon at the circus. I'd do
it again if I was sure I wouldn't get hurt."