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To: Leroyt who wrote (302)	2/9/1999 8:26:00 PM
From: WEBNATURAL	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 365

I keep a set of ref. URLs open in hot mail and here in a special library file for quick access. These are sorted by type of need. I have a group of search urls/engines the same way... **************************** The exhausted businessman stopped in a Tokyo bar for a drink. "Speak English?" he asked the bartender. "Yes, sir." "Great. I'd like a Stoli with a twist." The bartender looked at him for a moment, then leaned over the bar. "OK, once upon a time there were four little pigs..." 2. A grasshopper walked into a bar, sat down on a stool and ordered a martini. "Hey," the bartender exclaimed, "do you know we have a drink named after you?" "No kidding," the grasshopper said. "You have a drink named Fred?" 3. A young man walks into a singles bar with a roll of quarters taped inside the crotch of his jeans. He looks around, then sits next to the most attractive woman there. He was very pleased with himself after he noticed her constantly glancing down at his crotch. "Hi, there, I'm Jerry," he said, as he went into one of his well rehearsed routines, "and I help produce a T.V. quiz show. Is there any question I can answer for you?" "As a matter of fact there is," she said as she glanced down once more toward his embellished jeans. "Do you have change for a dollar?"

To: Leroyt who wrote (302)	2/10/1999 8:54:00 AM
From: WEBNATURAL	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 365

This one was in my name... To: +traderdan (1356 ) From: +Barney Tuesday, Feb 9 1999 11:04PM ET Reply # of 1367 Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people." This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates: Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is Money. As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time Since: Knowledge = Power and Time = Money We know that Knowledge = Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge. Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done. Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.

To: Leroyt who wrote (302)	3/1/1999 8:33:00 PM
From: WEBNATURAL	Respond to of 365

Engineer Identification Test: ----------------------------- You walk into a room and notice that a picture is hanging crooked. You... Straighten it. Ignore it. Buy a CAD system and spend the next six months designing a solar- powered, self-adjusting picture frame while often stating aloud your belief that the inventor of the nail was a total moron. The correct answer is "3" but partial credit can be given to anybody who writes "It depends" in the margin of the test or simply blames the whole stupid thing on "Marketing." SOCIAL SKILLS Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social interaction. "Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from social interaction: Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation Important social contacts A feeling of connectedness with other humans In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for social interactions: Get it over with as soon as possible Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects.