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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (1371)	2/11/1999 11:45:00 AM
From: Heptoad	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret and he tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional. She says, "Father, I never wear panties under my habit. "The priest chuckles and says, "That's not so serious. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers and do five cartwheels on your way to the altar.

To: Barney who wrote (1371)	2/11/1999 11:47:00 AM
From: The Philosopher	Respond to of 2733

That's not the right question. The right question is, how good are you at noticing which cards you did NOT pick!

To: Barney who wrote (1371)	2/11/1999 12:44:00 PM
From: Gordon Quickstad	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2733

It's uncanny! I've played it for hours ... AND IT NEVER FAILS ... I even forgot to whisper it out loud a few times! It's now my favorite web site.

To: Barney who wrote (1371)	2/11/1999 2:05:00 PM
From: Heptoad	Respond to of 2733

Barney, Good page! It took a few minutes to figure out how it worked, but if you didn't look real close, you would never see how it works. Tom

To: Barney who wrote (1371)	2/11/1999 8:23:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Try this site on magic. I work like some ideas on how it is done.

To: Barney who wrote (1371)	2/14/1999 1:37:00 AM
From: treetopflier	Respond to of 2733

Beer Contains Female Hormones...the proof! "Last week scientists at the Biomedical Research Centre, UCLA, revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn't drive. No further testing is planned."

To: Barney who wrote (1371)	2/14/1999 1:40:00 AM
From: treetopflier	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Football Is Life ~~~ A Special Super Bowl Story ~~~ A Miami man, whose name was B.J. had been dying to go to the Super Bowl, and by luck (and $500 to a scalper) he was able to get in. But his seat was up in the nosebleed section, tucked in the corner of the stadium; his best view was of the Goodyear Blimp! Luckily, he had brought his binoculars with him, and during the first quarter, it caught his eye that there was an empty seat 8 rows from the field off the 50-yard line! By the end of the quarter, he just couldn't stand it, and got up and made his way around the stadium, slipped past the ticket-checkers, and found the empty seat. B.J. asked the man beside the seat if it was taken, and the reply came like music to his ears; "No, you're welcome to sit here." His pulse shot up and he practically had a seizure, but he managed to get into the seat and regain his composure... Mostly. "I can't believe it! Who would have missed the Super Bowl with seats like these?!? This is the most amazing experience of my life!" The man beside him suddenly became very somber, and told him, "Actually, the seat belongs to me, too. My wife and I were planning on being here together, but, she just recently passed away. Oh, we were always crazy about football, in fact, this is the first Super Bowl we haven't been together at since we got married, 28 years ago." A tear was forming in his eye, when the second quarter began and the man's attention was quickly drawn to chearing (and jumping) for his team's first rush. After the tackle, the man settled back into his seat, and B.J. felt he should reply. "Oh, I'm sorry. That's really sad," he said, "but still, couldn't you find anyone to take this seat? A relative, or close friend of the family?" "No," the man replied, pausing again and bowing his head slightly, "They're all at the funeral."