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Politics : Bill Clinton Scandal - SANITY CHECK -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: jlallen who wrote (33527)	2/11/1999 8:33:00 AM
From: Les H	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 67261

Study Finds that Students Who Use Calculators Score Better on Math Tests A Federally funded study designed to help find a way to improve sagging U.S. math scores is claiming that calculators may be the key to putting American students back on top. Lavender Freebird, spokeswoman for the study said, "Our research shows that students from all socioeconomic backgrounds score significantly higher on math tests if they are allowed to use a calculator." The study, which was spearheaded by a Blue Ribbon Panel of Education Union Bosses, is calling on President Clinton to initiate legislation that would require all the states to purchase calculators for students in grades 3 through 12. Said Freebird, "With just a small investment, American students will have the ability to score higher on math tests and once again be able to compete with students from other industrialized nations." President Clinton responded to the study's findings by saying, "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that their suggestion makes sense. I commend them for developing education reform ideas that truly ad up."

To: jlallen who wrote (33527)	2/11/1999 8:38:00 AM
From: Les H	Respond to of 67261

IRS Experiencing a Dramatic Increase in Fraudulent Tax Returns The IRS today released a statement claiming that they are already receiving a greater number of fraudulent returns than they did at this same time last year. The IRS also claims that they expect the current trend to continue and that President Clinton is to blame. IRS spokesman, Clarence Dictum, told BNN, "It appears that the American people are following the President's example when it comes to playing word games. We are receiving a large number of returns with addendums to their income statements which say, 'It all depends on what the definition of income is.'" Dictum told BNN that in one particular case a business owner used his own definition of 'income' as a means of trying to hide over $100,000 from the IRS. When the agency notified him that he was committing tax fraud his response to the IRS was, "If you don't like my definition of income, then impeach me." Said Dictum, "This problem has already reached epidemic proportions."