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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Naggrachi who wrote (1381)2/12/1999 1:48:00 AM
From: Barney  Respond to of 2733
 
Subject: Unclear on the Y2K Concept

Dear Boss:

I hope that I haven't misunderstood your instructions.
Because to be honest, none of this Y to K problem makes
any sense to me. At any rate I have finished the
conversion of all of the months on all the company
calendars for next year (year 2000). The calendars
have returned from the printer and are ready to be
distributed with the following new months:

Januark
Februark
Mak
Julk



To: Naggrachi who wrote (1381)2/12/1999 1:55:00 AM
From: Barney  Respond to of 2733
 
Subject: answering machine

The following are actual answering machine answers recorded and
verified by the world famous International Institute of Answering
Machine Answers!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll
leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're
finished.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why
we're not here. So leave a message.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent
the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my
financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If
you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't
worry, I have plenty of money.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hi. Now you say something."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can
talk to it instead. Wait for the beep."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(From my Japanese friend in Toronto)
He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon. If
you leave *sexy* message, I call sooner!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our
weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise,
we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain
silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used
by us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello, you've reached John and Mary. We can't pick up the phone
right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Mary
likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right
..... real slowly.

So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll
get back to you.