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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mad2 who wrote (1426)	2/16/1999 12:19:00 PM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a building needs a handsaw. He sees another man on the 1st floor. He yells down to him, but he can't hear, so he does sign language. To do sign language, the man on the 3rd floor points at his eye meaning "I," points at his knee meaning "need," and moves his hand back and forth in a handsaw motion. The man on the 1st floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, and starts masturbating. The man on the 3rd floor gets so angry he runs down to the 1st floor and says,"What the fuck is wrong with you, dumbass? I said I need hand saw!" The other guy says," I knew that, I was just trying to tell you I'm coming."

To: Mad2 who wrote (1426)	2/21/1999 10:31:00 AM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 2733

A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman's apartment. "I can't imagine what it will be like making love to a midget," said the woman, "especially with the size difference and all." "Just take off your cloths, lie back on the bed, spread your legs apart and close your eyes," said the midget. The woman did as she was told and soon she felt the biggest thing she'd ever experienced inside her. Within a few minutes the woman had climaxed eight times. "If you think that was good," said the midget with a smirk, "Just wait till I get BOTH legs in there!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The tourist had lost his way on a back road and stopped at the farmhouse to ask if he could be put up for the night. "Well, we're a mite crowded, since there's already someone in the spare room," replied the farmer. "But I guess you can stay if you don't mind sharing the bed with a red haired schoolteacher." "Look," said the tourist, "I want you to know I'm a gentleman." "Well," mused the farmer, "as far as I can tell, so is the red haired schoolteacher."