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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: P.S.N. who wrote (1429)	2/16/1999 8:09:00 PM
From: Hart	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2733

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One old lady turns to the other and asks, "Do you still get horny?" The other replies, "Oh sure I do." The first old lady asks, "What to you do about it?" The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver." After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"

To: P.S.N. who wrote (1429)	2/16/1999 8:17:00 PM
From: Hart	Respond to of 2733

The Frog and the Banker A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from the teller's nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager. Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says: "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant saying. "I mean, what the heck is this?" So the bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knickknack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."