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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (1444)	2/21/1999 10:38:00 AM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 2733

The Pope is having a shower. Although he is very strict about the celibacy rules, he occasionally feels the need to empty his scrotal sacs, and this is one of these occasions. Just as he shoots his load, he sees a photographer taking a picture of the holy seed flying through the air. "Hold on a minute" says the Pope. "You can't do that. You'll destroy the reputation of the Catholic Church." "This picture is my lottery win" says the photographer. "I'll be financially secure for life." So the Pope offers to buy the camera off the photographer, and after lots of negotiation they eventually arrive at a figure of two million dollars (US). The Pope then dries himself off, and heads off with his new camera. He meets his housekeeper, who spots the camera. "That looks like a really good camera," she says, "how much did it cost you?" "Two million DOLLARS" replies the Pope. "TWO MILLION DOLLARS !!!!!?????" says the housekeeper, "They must have seen you coming!!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- On their first night to be together, the newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished ."Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, My word, you are so beautiful, let me take your picture. Puzzled, she asks, "My picture?" He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever." She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why do you wear a robe? We are married now." At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "Oh, oh, oh my, let me get a picture." He beams and asks, "Why?" She answers, "So I can get it enlarged."