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To: E'Lane who wrote (38724)2/17/1999 4:17:00 PM
From: woody  Respond to of 50264
 
E this certainly isn't directed to you...being the "youngun" that you are, but here goes.

Middle Age

Middle Age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

Then: Killer Weed
Now: Weed Killer

Then: The Grateful Dead
Now: Dr. Kevorkian

Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint Now: Getting a new hip joint

Then: Moving to California because it's cool Now: Moving to California because it's warm

Then: Being called into the principal's office Now: Storming into the principal's office

Then: Peace Sign
Now: Mercedes Logo

Then: OJ, cutting & slashing
Now: OJ, cutting & slashing

Then: Getting your head stoned
Now: Getting your headstone

Then: "The Making of the President"
Now: The making of the President

Then: Long hair
Now: Longing for hair

Then: Acid rock
Now: Acid reflux

Then: Worrying about no one coming to your party Now: Worrying about no one coming to your funeral

Then: Fighting to get rid of the lying President Now: Fighting to keep the lying President

Then: The perfect high
Now: The perfect high-yield mutual fund

Then: Elvis in the army
Now: Elvis in a UFO

Then: Keg
Now: EKG

Then: Swallowing acid
Now: Swallowing antacid

Then: pothead
Now: potbelly

Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your kids

Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor

Then: Passing the driving test
Now: Passing the vision test

Then: Seeds and stems
Now: Roughage

Then: Popping pills, smoking joints
Now: Popping joints

Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel Now: Our president's struggle with fidelity.