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Politics : Bill Clinton Scandal - SANITY CHECK -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ish who wrote (34317)	2/17/1999 6:08:00 PM
From: jlallen	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 67261

Once an a##h#l#, always an ....... JLA

To: Ish who wrote (34317)	2/17/1999 6:34:00 PM
From: Les H	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 67261

Clinton Proposes A Tax Cut WASHINGTON, DC - President Clinton today announced that he was sending a comprehensive tax cut package to Capital Hill. News of the President's tax cut proposal has some Republican lawmakers scratching their heads. Said one Republican Congressman, "I thought that he didn't want a tax cut because he doesn't trust Americans to spend it properly." Another Republican Senator said, "I don't get it. This doesn't sound like something Clinton would propose." BNN's Washington Bureau has reviewed Clinton's proposal and has found that the President plans to take this year's budget surplus and use it to create a new government agency designed to oversee and advise Americans on how to properly spend their money. Once every American is made accountable to the government for their spending practices then they would have the opportunity to receive a tax cut. If the new agency determines that Americans are not spending their tax cut appropriately, then taxes would automatically be raised. Said Clinton, "My tax cut proposal is the only one that guarantees that Americans don't selfishly spend the government's money on themselves."

To: Ish who wrote (34317)	2/17/1999 6:35:00 PM
From: Les H	Respond to of 67261

News Reporters Suffering From Post-Impeachment Stress Disorder Now that Clinton's Impeachment ordeal has come to an end, many people who work in the news industry are complaining that they are experiencing flu like symptoms accompanied by depression and feelings of utter uselessness. Said one reporter, "Since the vote came down last week I haven't been able to sleep at night. My whole body feels achy and I have nightmares that I have been reassigned to Antarctica to cover the affects of global warming on the polar ice caps." BNN's 'Wellness Editor' Dr. Anthony Birdsong claims that these symptoms are indicative of Post-Impeachment Stress Disorder (PISD). Said Birdsong, "This disease may very well be the last bit of fall-out from the Clinton-Lewinsky Impeachment Scandal. I predict that it will hit epidemic proportions before a cure can be found." With nearly 40% of reporters from all networks complaining of one or more symptoms of PISD, major news shows and networks are having to readjust their schedules. It is rumored that TIME/CNN has been the hardest hit by PISD followed by CNBC. One anonymous insider at TIME/CNN told BNN, "With nearly half of our reporters crippled with this debilitating disease, we have had no choice but to begin hiring a new batch of novelists and fiction writers in order to fill our 24 hours of continuous programming." One tipster at CNBC complained, "If we can't rally our troops and overcome this disease then we will have no choice but to cut our news programming down to 4 hours a day." When asked what they would do to fill the other 20 hours of programming our informant told us, "The top brass is considering a plan to find old vaults and secret rooms across the country and then send Hiraldo to open them on the air." Still other media outlets like CBS and Reuters are considering a class action lawsuit against the Republicans. Said one reporter at CBS, "The affects of this disease have already far surpassed the ravages of 'Gulf War Syndrome'. Clinton's acquittal proves that the Republicans planted Lewinsky and entrapped the President. Therefore, the Repubicans are to blame for this disease and we will make sure that they are forced to pay for bringing this upon us."