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Pastimes : CYBERIAN GULAG + other thoughts -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Victor Lazlo who wrote (159)	2/21/1999 2:51:00 PM
From: ztect	Respond to of 193

A Sunday morning lesson *************************************** In The Beginning, God Created Heaven And Earth... He was then faced with a class action lawsuit for failing to file an environmental inpact statement from HEPA (Heavenly Environmental Protection Agency), an angelically staffed agency dedicated to keeping the universe pollution free. God was granted a temporary permit for the heavenly portion of the project, but was issued a cease and desist order on the earthly portion of the project, pending further investigation by HEPA. Upon completion of his construction permit and environmental impact statement, God appeared before HEPA council to answer some questions. When asked why He began these projects in the first place, He simply replied that He liked to be creative. This was not considered an adequate reason and He was required to substantiate this further. HEPA was unable to see any practical use for earth anyway, since "the earth was void and empty and darkness was on the face of the deep." Then God said, "Let there be Light." He should never have brought up this point, since one member of the Council was active in the Sierrangel Club and immediately protested, asking how the Light was to be made. Would there be strip mining? Air Pollution? God explained that the Light would come from a huge ball of fire. Nobody on the council really understood this, but it was provisionally accepted, assuming 1) that there would be no smog or smoke resulting from the burning; 2) a separate burning permit would be required; and 3) since continuous light would be a waste of energy, it should be dark half of the time. So God agreed to divide the Light and the Darkness and He would call the Light Day and the Darkness Night. (The Council expressed no interest in in-house semantics.)