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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Edwarda who wrote (1545)	2/22/1999 6:10:00 PM
From: EddieMacG	Respond to of 2733

The waitress comes back to the diner's table with a hamburger with a bunch of bugs hovering over the sandwich ! The diner shouts angrily at her: " I ordered a burger with FRIES " !........................................ The VERY same waitress comes back again carrying a tiny eucalyptus tree, with dirt dropping from its roots ......insects hovering in its branches........... The same diner says "I ordered a small TEA"

To: Edwarda who wrote (1545)	2/22/1999 7:27:00 PM
From: Dayuhan	Respond to of 2733

A young sailor, just out of training, ships out on his first voyage. Being a strong young lad, it doesn't take him long to start missing female companionship. There's not much privacy on board, and it's not easy for him to take care of himself. He also notices that nobody else is taking a suspiciously long time in the shower, and that everybody seems quite content. Finally he sidles up to an old salty dog and asks him what everybody's up to. Salty dog says: "See that barrel up on the foredeck?" "Yup." "See that hole in the side of the barrel?" "Yup." "Well you just go on up there and stick your crank in that barrel, and see what happens." The young guy figures it's a joke, so he doesn't do it. He keeps his eyes open, though, and sees that everybody else is doing it, and they're coming away looking mighty pleased. So one fine monday he sneaks up to the barrel, pops it in, and gets the best blow job of his life. Delighted, he goes running off to the old salty dog and says: "Damn, that was great! I'm gonna do that every day!" "Every day but Tuesday." "Why not on Tuesday?" "Because Tuesday", says the old salty dog, "is your day in the barrel."

To: Edwarda who wrote (1545)	2/23/1999 1:56:00 PM
From: P.S.N.	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Aren't: 10. I need to whip it out by 5. 9. Mind if I use your laptop? 8. Just stick it in my box. 7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag. 6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!! 5. HMMMMMMMM....I think it's out of fluid. 4. My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish. 3. It's an entry-level position. 2. When do you think you'll be getting off today? And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in the office but isn't: 1. It's not fair...I do all the work while he just sits there. Subject: Sex in the Dark "Jane" was becoming frustrated with her husband's insistence that they have sex in the dark. Hoping to free her husband from his inhibitions, during a passionate evening, she flipped on the lamp only to discover a cucumber in his hand. Is THIS what you've been using on me for the past 10 years!?!" "Honey! Let me explain!" "Why you sneaky bastard!" she screamed. "You impotent SOB!!" "Speaking of sneaky!" he interrupted, "Maybe you'd care to explain our 2 kids!!!" PSN