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Pastimes : Another Good Reason Not To Be Married -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Edwarda who wrote (4612)	2/22/1999 6:49:00 PM
From: Elmer Flugum	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 6545

IT'S A GIRL THANG! Everyday I give thanks to the Goddess I have two mounds upon my bodice I shave my legs, I sit down to pee can justify any shopping spree Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon Can get a massage without a hard-on I can balance the checkbook, can pump my own gas Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long. At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong I don't drive in circles at any cost And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost Don't act like I'm in a timed marathon Every time I have to go to the john I don't brag about the size of my cup Hey, put the seat down, 'cause I won't leave it up! I never forget an important date You just gotta deal, I'm usually late I don't watch movies with lots of gore Don't need instant replay to remember the score I won't lose my hair I don't get jock itch And just cause I'm assertive Don't call me a bitch I don't wear the same underwear everyday The food in my fridge has no sign of decay Don't burp, don't belch and I certainly don't fart Ballet, not football, is what I consider an art Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her In your dreams, my dear, I can do better! Flowers are okay, but jewelry's best Would you look at my face, not at my chest! I don't have a problem expressing my feelings I know when you're lying, you look at the ceiling Don't call me a girl, a babe or a chick I am a WOMAN, get it, you prick?