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Pastimes : Another Good Reason Not To Be Married -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Edwarda who wrote (4612)2/22/1999 6:49:00 PM
From: Elmer Flugum  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 6545
 
IT'S A GIRL THANG!

Everyday I give thanks to the Goddess
I have two mounds upon my bodice
I shave my legs, I sit down to pee
can justify any shopping spree
Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon
Can get a massage without a hard-on
I can balance the checkbook, can pump my own
gas
Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass
My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong
I don't drive in circles at any cost
And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost
Don't act like I'm in a timed marathon
Every time I have to go to the john
I don't brag about the size of my cup
Hey, put the seat down, 'cause I won't leave it up!
I never forget an important date
You just gotta deal, I'm usually late
I don't watch movies with lots of gore
Don't need instant replay to remember the score
I won't lose my hair
I don't get jock itch
And just cause I'm assertive
Don't call me a bitch
I don't wear the same underwear everyday
The food in my fridge has no sign of decay
Don't burp, don't belch and I certainly don't fart
Ballet, not football, is what I consider an art
Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her
In your dreams, my dear, I can do better!
Flowers are okay, but jewelry's best
Would you look at my face, not at my chest!
I don't have a problem expressing my feelings
I know when you're lying, you look at the ceiling
Don't call me a girl, a babe or a chick
I am a WOMAN, get it, you prick?