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Politics : Bill Clinton Scandal - SANITY CHECK -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Johannes Pilch who wrote (35021)	2/22/1999 11:41:00 PM
From: Les H	Respond to of 67261

A LETTER TO BILL By Jonathan P. Bernick The Frumious Bandersnatch ( bandersnatch.com ) My Dear Mr. Clinton, Please allow Me to be the first to congratulate you on your acquittal. You may be certain that I have followed your career with interest. While most politicians serve My ends, I can think of none that does so with such zeal and effectiveness as you. Please understand that I am not speaking of your compromising of national security for financial favors, your degradations of women under the cover of your office, or your use of military adventures as political distraction - in this respect you are no different from a thousand other would-be Caligulas and Neros. Rather, it is your personal hypocrisy, demonstrated on a daily basis, the leaves Me speechless with admiration. As a leader who condemns "the politics of personal destruction" while sending henchmen to slander his opponents, who dedicates himself to America's families while debasing his own, who publicly proffers repentance while denying responsibility for his actions, you have done more to promote cynicism and moral despair than even My excursions into the entertainment industry could have hoped to achieve. Bravo, Sir! Bravissimo! I beg you accept an expert's word when I declare that you handled the impeachment process with diabolical cleverness. At the beginning of your tenure, perhaps in anticipation of this very day, you appointed an attorney general who sees herself as your personal defense counsel. A lesser man would have been humiliated by the stain of indictment, and contemplated resignation; you, who have no humility, persevered. When it seemed that public opinion might turn against you, you manufactured conspiracies and presented yourself as a victim. By demonizing your accusers (only metaphorically, alas) you persuaded a party that despises you to keep you in office so you could promote an agenda that revolts them. Please accept my felicitations on brokering a "deal with the Devil" worthy of Myself! But let us not lose sight of the greater significance of this triumph. While it is true that I rejoice whenever evil goes unpunished, your recent victory is much more than that. If this verdict was merely the exoneration of a self-serving and amoral politician I would be pleased, but My mirth is redoubled at the anticipation of the evil that you will continue to inspire in others. Look at the American public, unconcerned that a criminal occupies the White House so long as they share in the loot. Observe the sycophantic press, suppressing information and skewing stories to assist their golden child. And we must not forget those well-intentioned senators, who, in the name of sparing their country the trauma of removing the president, chose to violate their oath and absolve a man they knew to be guilty. My paving crews eagerly await their arrival. I see a bright and productive future ahead for you, Sir. With a poll-whipped congressional opposition afraid to confront you, and the members of your own party bound to you by their own duplicity, the uninterrupted completion of your term of office is all but assured. You are free to spend your remaining time contemplating your historical legacy: An imperial presidency, a dishonored Senate, a corrupt politics that will damage your nation long after you are finally brought home to Me. You have done Me proud, Mr. President, beyond My fondest dreams. While you have no doubt already enjoyed a victory cigar - perhaps even in the accepted manner - I hope that you will join Me in spirit for a toast. Adulterers and hypocrites, rapists and thieves, demagogues and dictators, I give you: William Jefferson Clinton, an innocent man! [With deepest respects to C. S. Lewis.] Copyright 1999, by Jonathan P. Bernick