Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: treetopflier who wrote (1570)	2/23/1999 11:16:00 PM
From: Barney	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2733

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity; looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Forget it, man-you don't stand a snowball's chance in h*** of hitting her from here!" ---------===========================================--------- __ __ ___ __ / // /_ ____ _ ___ ____ / _ )_______ ___ _/ /__ / _ / // / ' \/ _ \/ __/ / _ / __/ -_) _ '/ '_/ /_//_/\_,_/_/_/_/\___/_/ /____/_/ \__/\_,_/_/\_\

To: treetopflier who wrote (1570)	2/28/1999 11:14:00 AM
From: P.S.N.	Respond to of 2733

Ten Things that Piss Me Off ... by George Carlin ********************************************************************* 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the fk is yours?? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is? 2. The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no dick. 3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. 4. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." What good is a goddamn cake you can't eat? What? Should I eat someone else's cake instead? 5. When people say "It's always in the last place you look," Of course it is.Why the f**k would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? 6. When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No! I paid $7.50 to come to the theater and stare at freakin' ceiling up there. What did you come here for? 7. The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't." Well, I hope you don't drive sober either Mr. Healey. You're blind for God's sake. 8. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy? 9. When something is "new and improved," which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it. 10. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know asshole, you pulled me over. PSN