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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mad2 who wrote (1575)	2/25/1999 9:29:00 AM
From: P.S.N.	Respond to of 2733

The phone rings at KGB headquarters. ********************************************************************* "Hello?" "Hello, is this KGB?" "Yes. What do you want?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor Yankel Rabinovitz as an enemy of the State. He is hiding undeclared diamonds in his firewood." "This will be noted." Next day, the KGB goons come over to Rabinovitz's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no diamonds, swear at Yankel Rabinovitz and leave. The phone rings at Rabinovitz's house. "Hello, Yankel! Did the KGB come?" "Yes." "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yes, they did." "Okay, now it's your turn to call. I need my vegetable patch plowed." ********************************************************************* PSN

To: Mad2 who wrote (1575)	2/25/1999 9:34:00 AM
From: P.S.N.	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2733

BEST NEWSPAPER HEADLINES OF 1998 ********************************************************************* 1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies 2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say 3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 4. Drunks Get nine Months in Violin Case 5. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms 6. Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus? 7. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope 8. Panda Mating Fails, Veterinarian Takes Over 9. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands 10. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids 11. Clinton Wins Budget, More Lies Ahead 12. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told 13. Miners Refuse to Work After Death 14. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 15. Stolen Painting Found by Tree 16. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 years in Checkout Counter 17. War Dims Hope For Peace 18. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile 19. Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide 20. Man Struck By Lightening Faces Battery Charge 21. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group 22. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space 23. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks 24. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half 25. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetary, Hundreds Dead ********************************************************************* PSN