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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: treetopflier who wrote (1675)	3/5/1999 12:15:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 2733

One day while jogging a middle-aged man noticed a tennis ball lying by the side of the walk. Being fairly new and in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his pocket and proceeded on his way. Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful brunette standing next to him smiling. "What do you have in your pocket?", she asked. "Tennis ball,' the man said smiling back. "Wow," said the brunette looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable!"

To: treetopflier who wrote (1675)	3/5/1999 3:19:00 PM
From: Mad2	Respond to of 2733

More on Newspaper Headlines Copyright 1998 The Dallas Morning News The Dallas Morning News March 2, 1998 HOME FINAL EDITION SECTION: VIEWPOINTS; Pg. 11A; PAULA LaROCQUE LENGTH: 604 words HEADLINE: Gateway to a newspaper story must be inviting to readers BYLINE: Paula LaRocque BODY: Writing good headlines is one of the most challenging tasks in the newsroom. The importance of headlines is magnified by the fact that even people who don't read the story usually read the headline. Readers sometimes scold a reporter: "Your story was fine, but the headline wasn't!" That is hard criticism for reporters to take because they don't write the headlines. Headlines happen later in the process when editors know where the story will appear and how much space they have. The best headline writers have swift minds and a full array of linguistic skill. They understand the importance of tone and know when word play is appropriate. Good heads sell (but not oversell) the story. They are accurate, clear, complete, graceful, purposeful and compelling. They usually summarize the story. They capture its mood and tone. They are specific and dense with meaning. They also tell a little story _ for example, this complete, interesting and graceful headline from a Raleigh, N.C., newspaper: "California man's double life unravels 14 years after abandoning family." Headlines must be specific to tell stories. This vague head isn't specific enough to tell a story, despite its length: "County government group cites economic difficulties." Syntax is crucial to coherent headlines. Subject-verb-object word order is safest. Omitting words or putting them in the wrong place often creates blooper heads: "Calf born to farmer with two heads." "Navy finds dead pilots flying with hangovers." "Fried chicken cooked in microwave wins trip." Words that have more than one meaning cause many "head" aches: "Mrs. Gandhi stoned at rally." "Textron Inc. makes offer to screw company stockholders." "10 revolting officers executed." Such devices as metaphor, alliteration, rhyme and word play can heighten music and meaning: "Runnin' rebels hit Seton Hall wall" (Norfolk Virginian-Pilot). "Princeton's not the only school where students strut stuff in buff" (Corpus Christi Caller-Times). "Sex in America: Be fretful and multiply" (Providence Sunday Journal). Good headlines don't steal the punch line or parrot the lead _ which, after all, were written first by the writer. Look at this headline, for example: "Crenshaw hoping history repeats." Now, here is the writer's lead: Ben Crenshaw is hoping that history repeats itself. Here is another head: "2 women find right recipes so that East meets West _ through food." And the lead: East meets West _ through food. Triteness is a common problem, but heads shouldn't be studded with hackneyed expression. Heads such as "Hershiser absolutely awesome" should be avoided. So should "Loving family shattered by senseless violence" (as opposed to sensible violence?). The worst headline problem of all is the head that can be taken two ways. That is the variety that most often takes us to Blooperland: "Lawyers do offer poor free advice." "Scientists are at loss due to brain-eating amoeba." "Here's how you can lick Doberman's leg sores." "Orioles beat Rangers as pitcher relieves himself." "Utah girl does well in dog shows." "Woman better after being thrown from high-rise." "Man sentenced to stay two years in Michigan." Every headline writer knows how easy it is to make a major gaffe. But however challenging it is to write accurate and attractive heads, it is worth the effort. That all-important headline is the gateway to the story. If it invites, readers visit; if it doesn't, readers may stay away. Paula LaRocque is an assistant managing editor of The Dallas Morning NewsItalic and the newspaper's writing coach LANGUAGE: ENGLISH LOAD-DATE: December 10, 1998