To: Ilaine who wrote (32159 ) 3/7/1999 6:54:00 PM From: E Read Replies (4) | Respond to of 108807
Of course, it's true that nothing lasts forever. Sometimes love does, though, of course. And all men, not only a "type," like physically perfect women, for heaven's sake. That isn't the whole picture, though. The classic thing that happened, more in Europe than here, (or maybe just more openly,) is that the woman did the best she could in the 'assortative mating' market, as did the man, and they had their children, and if they were lucky in their choices, she was a good mother and he was a good father, and as he got better established (more able to attract women, as Steven pointed out) and she got older, she contented herself with her family duties and social position, and he with his well run domestic establishment and mistress on the side.(I do hope those women had their own little secrets!) He might love and honor his wife, who was his helpmeet and witness to his struggles and mother of his children, e'en unto her dotage and his, but, in his, still demand certain extra services from his nurse. If a man were unsuccessful in life, or for other reasons lacked sexual opportunity, or were constrained by conscience or by the desire not to inflict indignity or pain on his wife, he wouldn't play this game, obviously. If his wife remained sexually attractive to him, this fidelity would be easier for him to maintain, perhaps as easy as falling off a log. And this will anger some people, I think, though I don't know why, but I'll say it anyway: the more attractive wives with certain sexually compelling attitudes and behaviors are going to have an 'advantage,' if we consider not having your husband fooling around on the side one an advantage (though not all women do,) where keeping-the-sex-hot-and-in-the-marital-bedroom-and-other-marital-locations is concerned. There is, of course, no contradiction in principle between being attractive physically and having other attractive, compelling qualities. It's like keeping the weight off. What happens when you eventually turn into a dumpling? Well, you've turned into a dumpling later than someone who hasn't worked on it, and maybe that was a good thing and maybe it was for naught. I tend to think it makes you feel better. We're talking about tendencies, of course. Patterns. Individuals do all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons, I know.