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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Dayuhan who wrote (32302)	3/10/1999 12:53:00 PM
From: Jacques Chitte	Respond to of 108807

>Anyone who thinks these things don't matter to men is hanging around with the wrong men.< Emphatically agree.

To: Dayuhan who wrote (32302)	3/10/1999 7:22:00 PM
From: Grainne	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

<<Was it really that simple? I am always hearing about kids who were just perfect until drugs, or anorexia, or other such things came along and snapped them up. I've always suspected that in most of these cases there were serious problems beforehand. Maybe the only thing that was just fine was the mask she wore, and wearing the mask can be a huge strain.>> Well, this is a child I have known since she was little. No one has a perfect childhood, but definitely she was not wearing any kind of mask. Anoerexia has two components that are very important--the desire to be thin, and a message the child gets that there are very high expectations for her. In fact, some experts say that the child becomes anoerexic because it is the only thing she can control. Anoerexia usually happens to upper middle class girls who are college bound. In this case I would definitely agree that she was getting messages that she needed to do well in school, but certainly many children who do not become anoerexic get those messages as well. What happened is that her mother was dieting, and she ate what her mother did because she wanted to lose about five pounds of baby fat before eighth grade graduation. She looked stunning at the ceremony--she is a very beautiful girl. Within a few months after that, she has gotten so thin that she may be hospitalized on an IV if she loses another pound. Anoerexic girls think they are still too fat, even though their bones are poking out. They have lost the ability to see themselves clearly. And I don't know what to say about serious problems beforehand--this is a very well loved child from a stable, affluent two-parent family. In any event, anoerexia is a growing problem in American society. I personally believe that when getting carved up by a surgeon is acceptable and encouraged and the normal turn of events, it is such a skewed way of looking at life that it makes people sick.